Here are this week’s shower thoughts.
1-5 Shower Thoughts
1. Earth is a dinosaur planet, and humans are just mutants left over after the apocalypse.
2. An underrated perk of being an adult is you no longer outgrow your clothes.
3. At the age of 60, Snoop Dogg will be 420 in dog years.
4. It’d be so much cooler if the ball in Times Square climbed a little bit higher every night of the year at midnight until it reached its highest point on December 31st, then dropped as always to start the new year.
5. Do you realize that if aliens come to Earth, we will have to explain why we made movies in which we fight and kill them?
6-10 Shower Thoughts
6. When people are annoyed that a business is closed on a holiday, they are basically annoyed that someone is treating their employees well.
7. 124,000 Microsoft employees have to use bing and edge on a daily basis.
8. If the Queen ever sent her current knights into battle, all those celebrity singers would likely be slaughtered.
9. January 1st, 2000 is now the fake DOB used to get past age verification sites.
10. Smelling is just breathing normally and thinking about it more.
11-15 Shower Thoughts
11. Fritos Bean dip is just a small can of refried beans for 10 times the price of a can of refried beans.
12. One of the most underrated pleasures in life is getting a refreshing drink of water after having a dry throat all night.
13. The worst part about losing your glasses is that you don’t have your glasses to help you find your glasses.
14. As a male, one of the worst kinds of silence is when you try to pee in the toilet at night and don’t hear a splash.
15. Foxes are just cat software running on dog hardware.
22. When I was single and depressed, I’d go to the movies to be with other people. Yes, I was lonely.