Here are this week’s shower thoughts.
1-5 Shower Thoughts
1. If wookies have a 400-year lifespan, then Han Solo is basically like Chewbacca’s third dog.
2. Social anxiety is basically Conspiracy Theories about yourself.
4. Prince Charles is nearly 5 years older than the UK men’s retirement age, and he’s not even started the job he was born to do.
5. The first person who will be killed by a sex robot is probably already walking among us, unaware of how unflattering their obituary is going to read.
6-10 Shower Thoughts
6. Sleeping in until 11 am sounds lazier than waking up at 9 am and taking a two-hour nap later on in the day.
7. What Elon Musk did validate every kid who has strapped a hot wheels car to a toy rocket.
8. They should write “slippery” in the hydrophobic paint on store floors or sidewalks or roads or stairs so when they’re wet, they read “slippery” automatically.
9. Squirrels always look and act like it’s their first day being a squirrel.
10. As kids, we think it’s cool when we run into friends at the mall or grocery store. As adults, we hope to run all our errands and get home without being noticed.
11-15 Shower Thoughts
11. You don’t realize how inappropriate some lyrics are until there is a young kid in your car repeating them.
12. Today, flat earth deniers get to watch a live feed of a billionaires car floating around a sphere thing we have named Earth.
13. Nap time would be more useful in high school rather than elementary school.
14. Someday there will be a Google Doodle celebrating Elon Musk’s 100-and-something birthday.
15. It is possible that a million years from now, the last existing book in the English language will be that copy of Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy that’s in the glove box of the space car.