Here are this week’s shower thoughts.
1-5 Shower Thoughts
1. With Jeff Bezos having $116.8 billion and the average person having 100 billion brain cells, Jeff Bezos literally has more money than sense.
2. Flat Earthers never seem to appreciate how lucky we are that the Earth is horizontal rather than vertical.
3. Unvaccinated children are just organic humans with a shorter shelf life.
4. If everybody you meet is a friendly and nice person, it’s probably because you are.
5. Looking at the moon at night would feel completely different if the Apollo 11 crew couldn’t return home.
6-10 Shower Thoughts
6. There are two types of hotel guests in the world: those who ask when tomorrow’s breakfast begins, and those who ask when it ends.
7. Since your internal voice doesn’t have to breathe, you can scream internally forever.
8. Replaying a video game that you used to love and eventually got bored of is like hooking up with an ex. It seems like a good idea at first, but you quickly realize why you stopped playing.
9. League of Legends’ community must be quite nice now that every 12 years olds are playing Fortnite.
10. A computer program that starts working only after you open the task manager is the equivalent of an employee only doing his job when his boss is around.
11-15 Shower Thoughts
11. Internet maturity is when you see someone else’s status of them having an awesome time and you say to yourself, “good for them.”
12. Meal prepping is basically eating a week’s worth of leftovers from a meal that never happened.
13. In the Lion King, Mufasa explains to Simba the circle of life: “when we die, our bodies become the grass, and the antelope eat the grass.” When Scar murdered Mufasa, he threw him into a gorge. There’s no grass in the gorge, antelope don’t go into the gorge, Mufasa never completed the circle of life.
14. Closing all your tabs when you’re finished writing an essay is like running a victory lap.
15. We are the first generation that will be able to play console games with our children and know what the hell is going on.