Here are this week’s shower thoughts.
1-5 Shower Thoughts
1. Our parents warned us for years about the dangers of the internet while knowing nothing about it, then finally dove in and fell for every single one.
2. The only people forced to see anti-piracy warnings are the people who don’t pirate movies.
3. For every girl who wonders if a guy is staring at her, there is a guy who accidentally makes eye contact and is now afraid that she thinks he was staring at her.
4. Pets are “the 1%” of animals.
5. Nothing screams first world problem more than trying to decide which piece of your food you want to eat last cause the last flavor in your mouth matters.
6-10 Shower Thoughts
6. Amazon is just Walmart but with the workers’ misery hidden from view.
7. Men may never know the pain of childbirth, but women will never know the pain of finding out the child they’ve been raising isn’t their own.
8. Our bodies are just ads for our sperm/eggs.
9. 420 is the smallest number evenly divisible by 2,3,4,5,6 and 7, but you can’t easily divide it into 8ths.
10. The candles you blow out on a birthday cake represent the years extinguished from your life.
11-15 Shower Thoughts
11. On a typical workday, most of us wake up at 5 am, spend 1-2 hours in traffic, and 9-10 hours on the job. We later walk into our front door at 5-6pm which leaves roughly 2-3 hours of family time. We spend 12-14 hours daily, working to provide for a family that we rarely see.
12. The only negative thing about nicer weather is losing all that pocket storage from your jacket.
13. The story of Anakin Skywalker is basically somebody not getting the promotion they want so they show up to work the next day with a weapon.
14. The reason Where’s Waldo is hard is that everyone is inexplicably wearing white and red stripes. Kinda like how finding a job as a millennial is hard because everyone is educated, dedicated, and paradoxically missing the experience needed for an entry-level position.
15. Med students are like Magicarps. You don’t have any useful skills, you get thrown out first in every encounter just to take a couple hits and gain experience, and one day you turn into a fabulous, overworked dragon.