Here are this week’s shower thoughts.
1-5 Shower Thoughts
1. It’s surprising there aren’t any conspiracy theories that the ocean is bottomless because most people have never been to the seafloor.
2. Dogs can be our best friends, but the cat will never tell the police where the marijuana is.
3. Corrupt cops are just undercover criminals.
4. The smell of cotton candy has gone from “There must be a carnival nearby” to “Who’s the douche who’s vaping?”.
5. The most effective alarm clock is the sound of your cat/dog throwing up on the floor.
6-10 Shower Thoughts
6. Negative thoughts are like fat, it takes a long time to get rid of it and only a short time to gain it back.
7. Penguins are just seal software running on bird hardware.
8. If you don’t look back on your past self and cringe, then you didn’t grow as a person.
9. You use more water cleaning a water cup than drinking from it.
10. “Dad-fashion” is not the result of declining fashion sense, it’s the result of no longer giving a sh*t about strangers’ opinions.
11-15 Shower Thoughts
11. If spiders produced light like fireflies, nights would become 10 times more beautiful and 1000000 times more terrifying.
12. Falling down is the same as being hit by a planet.
13. A different version of you exists in the minds of everyone who knows you.
14. Betty White outlived jokes about how Betty White is still alive.
15. Your birthday is only your special day if you have friends that make it your special day. Otherwise, it’s just a reminder that you don’t have any friends.
