Here are this week’s shower thoughts.
1-5 Shower Thoughts
1. Watching a graduation ceremony is like sitting through a movie that entirely ends credits.
2. The Invisible Man could have a perfectly happy, ordinary relationship with a blind person.
3. 25 years ago seeing a toddler use technology was seen as a stroke of genius, today it is largely met with thoughts of a lack of parenting.
4. It’s actually an honor to get stung by a bee. It hates you so much, that it’s willing to die just to cause you a mild amount of pain.
5. Reading a book under a tree seems nice to us, but for a tree, it’s taunting them with the shredded flesh of their family.
6-10 Shower Thoughts
6. It’s amazing how people will spend an extra five minutes circling or waiting for a parking space in order to avoid an extra 30 seconds of walking.
7. Any stairway is a stairway to heaven if you’re clumsy enough.
8. A rap battle is just two men writing poetry about how strongly they feel about one another.
9. Deadpool is the perfect replacement for Stan Lee as the go-to cameo guy once the latter passes away.
10. The whole salad dressing industry exists because people really just don’t like the taste of the salad.
11-15 Shower Thoughts
11. Everything is a puzzle if you’re dumb enough.
12. If the Matrix is real, they must have been really nervous when we made a movie about it.
13. A shark eating a human because it thought it was a seal is the equivalent of a human eating a raisin cookie thinking it was chocolate chip.
14. When you live in an apartment building you are relying on dozens of other people to not burn down your house.
15. Documentaries are like the vegetables of the film world. You disliked them as a kid but love them the older you get.