Here are this week’s shower thoughts.
1-5 Shower Thoughts
1. Since there are 3600 seconds in an hour, and most people make less than $36.00/hr, their time is worth less than a penny per second. It’s literally worth your time to pick up a penny from the ground.
2. If you won the award of the first man to break two world records, that would make it 3 awards, and you win the award of the first man to break 3 records, now you have infinite awards.
3. Knowledge is knowing that you can carry all of the groceries in at once. Wisdom is making multiple trips so that by the time you are done, other family members have put away most of the groceries.
4. If you run at 11 pm you are a night person. If you run at 5 am you are a morning person. If you run at 3 am you are a suspicious person.
5. Your dog thinks “fetch” is a game that the two of you made up, and he loves you for that.
6-10 Shower Thoughts
6. As an adult, being gifted a few pairs of socks isn’t just being gifted a few pairs of socks, it’s being gifted with not having to go to the store to purchase a few pairs of socks in the near future.
7. When we discover that adults are not perfect, that’s the end of our childhood. When we forgive them for it, that’s the end of our adolescence.
8. We don’t have voluntary control over our internal organs because our brains don’t trust us enough to keep ourselves alive.
9. Boxing is a competition to see who can jiggle their opponent’s soft brain tissue hard enough to make them forget how to stand up.
10. If you clean up a mess after an ant has already left to report back to his colony you’re essentially making him look like a liar.
11-15 Shower Thoughts
11. People who say YOLO then proceed to do something extremely dangerous apparently don’t care that YOLO.
12. The opposite of “Tinder” would be an app named “Tender” which connects people for long-lasting, romantic relationships.
13. Being unable to smell if you have bad breath when it’s literally right under your nose seems like a cruel joke your body is playing.
14. Aloe Vera is the friendliest plant. Imagine someone rips off your arm and rubs it on their sunburn, and you say, “Cool. Hope you feel better. There’s another arm here if you need it.”
15. In 20 years, “bad” neighborhoods will be the ones with cars that make noise and use gas.