Here are this week’s shower thoughts.
1-5 Shower Thoughts
1. As a kid, you are bullied by people who don’t like you, and your friends are nice. Once you’re older, you’re bullied by your friends and people who don’t like you are nice.
2. Bean bags are just boneless sofas.
3. No matter how many times you’ve listened to your favorite song on your phone, when it plays on the radio there is a whole new feeling to it.
4. “Yesterday” by the Beatles, “Today” by Smashing Pumpkins, and “Tomorrow” by Silverchair were released in correct chronological order.
5. Nobody hears a car alarm and thinks “Oh no, that car is being stolen”. It’s just an annoying sound that we want to stop.
6-10 Shower Thoughts
6. It’s more acceptable to shame someone for their height which is pure genetics, than someone for their weight which is mostly poor life decisions.
7. History classes are only going to get longer and harder as time goes on.
8. Someone decided to make dyslexia hard to spell.
9. Kids in Africa probably have no idea that the phrase “kids in Africa…” is used so often.
10. Group projects were only intended to teach us that you can’t rely on people and not how to work as a group.
11-15 Shower Thoughts
11. Mosquitoes are the real vampires because they drink blood and kill people. Bats eat mosquitoes but almost never bite humans. Therefore bats are the real vampire hunters.
12. If you accidentally found the Fountain of Youth, you likely wouldn’t realize it for at least 5 years.
13. Movie Theaters complain about going out of business yet continue to sell bags of popcorn for $10+ dollars.
14. When you rob a bank, you will have no trouble with food and shelter for the next 10 years, whether it was a fail or a success.
15. The weird thing about having exes is the realization that another person is just roaming around somewhere in the world who’s seen you naked hundreds of times; they know your fears, your hopes, your darkest secrets. And then one day they’re just gone, as if what you shared never happened. Weird.
For #13. I feel like I should point this out since I worked at a movie theater, but concession sales are how they pay their staff. Movie companies (Universal, Paramount, etc) take most of ticket sales. So when you buy that $10 popcorn, you’re actually paying for some poor kid for cleaning up all the crap you leave in the theater. And when you know this as an employee, it makes you all the angrier when you find discarded fast food bags in the theaters after a movie.
22. You mean Dr. Dre? He’s 53 now. Grandmaster Flash who’s 60.
I’m a shorter guy. I’ve always thought it was a double standard that women can openly reject me based on my height, but if I were to state that I prefer slimmer women, I’d be raked over the coals for “body shaming.”