16-20 Shower Thoughts
16. No matter how much you slept, waking up 5 minutes before your alarm makes you feel cheated out of a whole nights rest.
17. If you don’t cut the brownies when you cook them you can eat the whole slab and say you only ate one brownie.
18. Somebody programmed a computer to understand a keyboard, without using a keyboard to do the programming.
19. When you take off latex gloves and your hands are too sweaty to put a new pair on, your ability to wear gloves is on cooldown.
20. Earth could actually be Noah’s Ark. Populated with other species from planets in our galaxy where extinction events occurred.
21-25 Shower Thoughts
21. If you find 11 people with different and unique allergies who are allergic to KFC because of something in the chicken batter, you could probably find out what the 11 secret herbs and spices in KFC Chicken are based on their allergies.
22. It’s going to be strange when rappers tour in their later years like the rock stars.
23. The only reason white shirts look professional is that it shows you’re responsible enough to keep it stain free.
24. Getting peanut butter out of the bottom of the jar without getting any on the knife handle is like the adult version of Operation.
25. The most unrealistic thing about Harry Potter is how they learn things in school that is actually useful in real life.
For #13. I feel like I should point this out since I worked at a movie theater, but concession sales are how they pay their staff. Movie companies (Universal, Paramount, etc) take most of ticket sales. So when you buy that $10 popcorn, you’re actually paying for some poor kid for cleaning up all the crap you leave in the theater. And when you know this as an employee, it makes you all the angrier when you find discarded fast food bags in the theaters after a movie.
22. You mean Dr. Dre? He’s 53 now. Grandmaster Flash who’s 60.
I’m a shorter guy. I’ve always thought it was a double standard that women can openly reject me based on my height, but if I were to state that I prefer slimmer women, I’d be raked over the coals for “body shaming.”