Here are this week’s shower thoughts.
1-5 Shower Thoughts
1. College Students are simultaneously stereotyped for not getting enough sleep and for sleeping all the time.
2. We think aliens would abduct us and conduct experiments on us because that’s exactly what we would do if we discovered alien life.
3. The two e’s in bee might actually be silent.
4. If you start counting from zero to either positive or negative numbers your lips won’t touch till you reach 1 million.
5. When you’re sick, the advice you get is to literally do drugs and stay out of school.
6-10 Shower Thoughts
6. We use tables to keep food off the floor, tablecloths to keep food off the table, placemats to keep food off the tablecloth and plates to keep food off the placemats.
7. You ever think about what people will be like in 1000 years? How it’s almost impossible to think about? In 1018, somebody thought the same thing. You are the uncomprehendable future they thought about.
9. The reason Spiderman is consistently hated by the public, yet saves them anyway, is because spiders are generally hated despite their vital role in curbing pestilence.
10. The sun must be hot as sh*t if you can feel it from earth but you can’t feel a fireplace from 5 feet away.
11-15 Shower Thoughts
11. $1,000 isn’t a lot of money to have, but it is a lot to owe.
12. 90% of the ads on Spotify tell you how much free Spotify sucks.
13. Most of our morning routine consists of trying not to smell like or look like the animals that we naturally are.
14. If you are granted eternal life, the universe will also never “die”. It will never be able to reach maximum entropy and heat death because you exist.
15. The sofa people and the door frame people need to sit down and sort out this whole width business.