Here are this week’s shower thoughts.
1-5 Shower Thoughts
1. If you have to purchase a VIP ticket for an event you probably aren’t an actual VIP.
2. The more bad guys that a hero is facing in a movie, the better their chance of survival; 1v5 is no problem but 1v1 will see the hero messed up pretty bad.
3. If you’re 25 and single in 2018, nobody bats an eye. If you’re 25 and single in 1818, people worry you’ll die an old maid. If you’re 25 and single in 1418, it’s because your third husband just died of the plague.
4. The way countries hastily try to fix/hide their social issues before the Olympics is essentially an entire country’s version of the panicked cleaning up you do around the house when people are about to come over
5. Confusing Link and Zelda is the modern version of confusing Frankenstein and Frankenstein’s monster.
6-10 Shower Thoughts
6. A kiss on the forehead often represents genuine caring more than a kiss on the lips.
7. It’s a good thing decaying plants don’t smell like rotting corpses or Fall would be traumatizing.
8. Frustration is having to clean someone else’s pee off of a toilet seat, so the next person doesn’t think you did it.
9. We think elderly drivers are bad now. Wait till we have elderly drivers that also know how to use smartphones.
10. Checkers is like chess after the pawns overthrew the monarchy.
11-15 Shower Thoughts
11. People of the future will be fascinated by Stephen Hawking. A man who, despite his paralyzing disease, beat his life expectancy by nearly 50 years, became one of the most brilliant minds in history and spoke with a robotic voice.
12. As of two weeks ago, of all the possible “sexy” costumes that could be popular on Halloween this year, nobody would have guessed Bowser could take the lead.
13. If your commercial is intentionally louder than the shows it airs with, extra effort will go into Not buying whatever you’re selling.
14. In 1000 years, the equivalent to Buzzfeed will have an article titled “11 Times Futurama Accurately Predicted the Future”.
15. There are probably people you know who lie awake at night thinking of the embarrassing, cringe thing they did in front of you years ago.