Here are this week’s shower thoughts.
1-5 Shower Thoughts
1. When people brokenly speak a second language they sound less intelligent but are actually more knowledgeable than most for being able to speak a second language at all.
2. Replying “k” in morse “-.-“, has the same passive-aggressive tone.
3. A 3-day break, you feel well rested. A 5+ day break, you forget how to be a productive member of society.
4. They say with pessimism you’ll either be correct or pleasantly surprised, but that’s an awfully optimistic way to see pessimism.
5. No matter how old you are, an empty wrapping paper tube is still fun to bonk someone over the head with.
6-10 Shower Thoughts
6. FedEx can get a can of corn from Nebraska to California faster than the human body can get it from one end to the other.
7. Whenever an artist like Taylor Swift releases a song about a breakup, the ex-boyfriend must be out there in the world somewhere thinking wtf.. what an overreaction…
8. The memory of a dream is like a GIF that loses frames each time you try to remember it.
9. Only once you’ve written up the entire angry paragraph you realize shamefully that nobody gives a sh*t.
10. Exercising your personal right to not get vaccinated is like exercising your personal right to drink and drive. In both cases, you’re not only going to end up killing yourself, but you’re also going to kill other people too.
11-15 Shower Thoughts
11. If the first grape you eat is bitter, then you will not bother eating grapes again. If the first grape you eat is a sweet one then you will be willing to eat a lot of bitter grapes in search of another sweet one.
12. It is human to make a mistake unless you make one in a Captcha.
13. In 60 years, there will be retro themed diners where the staff wears skinny jeans and look at their iphones while working.
14. Speed limit signs are meant as maximums but read as minimums.
15. We get lectured by websites to come up with strong passwords, only to have your password stolen anyway due to bad security on their end.