16-20 Shower Thoughts
16. 1-year-old birthday parties are basically just “congrats on keeping your kid alive for a year” parties for the parents.
17. If there’s a drug that cures human cancer but not mouse cancer, we will never find it.
18. Children born around 2005-2010 are gonna feel nostalgic for Fortnite the same way we feel nostalgic for Nintendo games.
19. The first half of your life is people telling you not to do drugs and the second half is people telling you about all the drugs you need to take.
20. Michael Jackson probably now looks like he did in Thriller.
21-25 Shower Thoughts
21. Life is just finding a bunch of creative ways to distract yourself until you die.
22. When Alaska was bought, the polar bears had no clue what happened but now they were part of another nation. Maybe an alien civilization has already bought the Milky Way but we have no way of knowing, just like the polar bears.
23. 4 Spikes = Table Fork. 3 Spikes = Dessert Fork. 2 Spikes = Deli Fork. 1 Spike = Knife. 0 Spikes = Spoon.
24. Defeating bots by asking them to identify images of crosswalks and stoplights doesn’t exactly inspire confidence in the bots controlling self-driving cars.
25. Those “don’t text and drive” signs on the road probably aren’t read by people texting and driving.