Here are this week’s shower thoughts.
1-5 Shower Thoughts
1. Exercising is basically hurting yourself until you build up an immunity to hurting yourself.
2. Inheritance is just your relatives dropping loot when they die.
3. Labeling something “military grade” makes it seem so high quality unless it is food.
4. If we had superheroes people would commit crimes just to meet/interact with them.
5. In Home Alone, Uncle Franks says “look what you did you little jerk” to Kevin’s face. Meanwhile, Kevin’s dad just sat there while his brother verbally abused his son. Peter McCallister was a bad dad BEFORE he forgot Kevin on 2 separate trips. Maybe that’s why Kevin was acting out in the first place.
6-10 Shower Thoughts
6. The last 10% of a tube of toothpaste lasts about as long as the first 90%.
7. Adulthood is finally making enough money to do the things you’ve always wanted, but can’t because you have to spend it on things you never knew you needed.
8. If the earth was flat, you can bet the edge would be one of the biggest tourist attractions in the world.
9. Alaska and Hawaii are like DLC for the U.S.
10. Most people probably don’t mind being at work. It’s waking up to go there that sucks.
11-15 Shower Thoughts
11. If you could hear people’s thoughts, the gym would sound like angry kindergarten: lots of people straining hard to count to a relatively low number.
12. Women live an average of 7 years longer than men. Women will also spend an average of 7 years in their lifetime menstruating. Sort of like a life refund for days spent in misery.
14. If you eat a plate of surf and turf, you’ve got two animals on your plate that had no idea each other existed, but now meet posthumously.
15. Saving “women and children first” in a disaster isn’t just old-timey chivalry. It’s actually pretty smart because if the women and children survive a tribe can repopulate.