Here are this week’s shower thoughts.
1-5 Shower Thoughts
1. Being middle class is when spending $100 is expensive but earning $100 isn’t a lot of money.
2. The larger the download button, the less safe it seems.
3. There’s a big difference between men and women when they say they finished a whole box of tissues watching that film last night.
4. In your 20s you’re worried about what everyone thinks of you. In your 30s you make it a point to not care what anyone thinks of you. In your 40s you realize that no one was thinking about you anyway.
5. In 500 years time, this will probably be known as the “Oil Age”.
6-10 Shower Thoughts
6. When we’re young the doorbell ringing was an exciting event, who could it be, maybe a friend from school! As an adult, it is probably the most butthole clenching, anxiety-inducing event to happen on any given day, who the hell is that and what do they want!
7. The car horn is the universal noise for both “hello” and “f**k you”.
8. Millennials are both pioneers of hookup culture and too riddled with anxiety and depression to participate in it.
9. You never realize how much you use the internet until you go through your search history for 20 minutes looking for something from yesterday.
10. We all know how to count to 1 billion, but none us have actually done it.
11-15 Shower Thoughts
11. Having to delete your text midway through writing it because the receiver sends another message is like getting cut off in a conversation.
12. Rubbing sugar in your enemy’s wounds to encourage infection is way more diabolical than rubbing salt in their wounds.
14. Google could probably force world peace by just telling everyone to “chill or we’ll make everyone’s internet history public”.
15. If alternate universes existed with an infinite amount of realities, there could be a reality where you are writing this instead of reading it.