Here are this week’s shower thoughts.
1-5 Interesting Shower Thoughts
1. What if planet Earth is the “Noah’s Ark” of the Galaxy and that’s why we can’t find life on other planets, because it was destroyed long ago.
2. The speed of a clock’s second hand is exactly 1 RPM.
3. You never appreciate breathing through your nose, until you have a cold.
4. No one has ever been in an empty room.
5. “Mommy watch this” is my 5-year-old’s version of my “Hold my beer.”
6-10 Interesting Shower Thoughts
6. Cellphones probably destroyed the alarm clock industry.
7. The problem of slow walking people blocking everyone else will never disappear since the ones causing the problem are the only ones not affected by it.
8. If my dog pees on a tree to mark his territory, does he think my family is having a turf war over our bathroom?
9. 5% of the toilet paper I use is for wiping my butt, 95% percent of it is to keep my fingers from touching the shi*ty toilet paper.
10. If batman’s parents were still alive he would probably still be raised by Alfred.
11-15 Interesting Shower Thoughts
11. Lobsters are mermaids to scorpions.
12. What if the Egyptians didn’t actually revere cats, but only jokingly did like we do on the internet?
13. Fleeing from police is like choosing the double or nothing option.
14. A “lethal dose” is also a “lifetime supply.”
15. The phrase “I didn’t choose the thug life, the thug life chose me” is actually a depressing statement about how people are born into gang culture and the cycle of poverty.
16-20 Interesting Shower Thoughts
16. Air bubbles in water are the opposite of rain.
17. You can call someone who makes prosthetics a professional body builder.
18. Society has become so civilized that we have to simulate manual labor at the gym in order to reap the health benefits that civilizations of past centuries had to do naturally for a living.
19. No-one has seen me wipe my butt in close to 30 years. What if I’m doing it wrong?
20. I wonder if Apple called their new watch the Apple Watch because iWatch would just be creepy.
21-25 Interesting Shower Thoughts
21. On Earth, curiosity drives scientists. On Mars, scientists drive Curiosity.
22. Life on Earth is the cosmic equivalent of what happens when you don’t store things in a cool dry place.
23. Being high in front of your parents is like doing the best impression of yourself.
24. Humans are inherently lonely because no one can “hear” your thoughts except you. Even when you express some through words, you cannot describe the full gamut of your mind.
25. Some rappers basically have us pay them to tell us what extravagant/lavish things they then do with our money.