Here are this week’s shower thoughts.
1-5 Shower Thoughts
1. The reason Ouija boards say “Don’t play alone” is because if you did, nothing would happen.
2. An onion is the bass player of food. You would probably not enjoy it solo, but you’d miss it if it wasn’t there.
3. Girls bring up their boyfriends to get guys to stop flirting with them, guys bring up their girlfriends to indicate that they’re not flirting.
4. Platypuses are animals that both lay eggs and lactate, making them a natural portable source of omelets.
5. The most pointless use of plastic is those fake credit cards that come in the mail, *designed* to be thrown away.
6-10 Shower Thoughts
6. We spend obscene amounts of money on vehicles and makes sure they have the features and comforts we want, only to drive aggressively and speed home to get out of it as fast as possible.
7. We only smell how disgusting things like poo and vomit are after they leave our body… imagine how disgusting our insides must constantly smell.
8. If blue whales ever go extinct, future generations will look back in awe of this huge animal much like we do now after learning that giant sloths and lizards used to exist.
9. No company loves an abandoned strip mall building more than Spirit Halloween.
10. Buying used silverware doesn’t seem pleasant but using restaurant silverware that has been used hundreds of times by different people seems completely fine and normal.
11-15 Shower Thoughts
11. We had to destroy the environment to get to the technological level to understand we were destroying the environment.
12. The word “quiet” is often said very loud.
13. At some point in the next decade, there will be a final veteran of WWII that is still alive out there and we may never know it. That person would probably feel like they are true victor of the war, to live their life to its fullest despite the terror they experienced.
14. Nobody reads “Ight Imma Head Out” in Spongebob’s voice.
15. They say money can’t buy happiness, but antidepressants sure aren’t free.