Here are this week’s shower thoughts.
1-5 Shower Thoughts
1. When our generation is old we will still subconsciously be trying to keep our electronics from getting wet even if everything is waterproof.
2. If a sloth were to clap, it will always sound sarcastic.
3. People routinely criticize musicians for only being in it for the money, but wouldn’t dream of criticizing a plumber for not being in it for the love of plumbing.
4. Scooby-Doo taught kids there’s no such thing as ghosts, but it isn’t any more comforting to think that shadow chilling in your bedroom corner at night may just be a deranged theme park janitor in a monster costume.
5. Jurassic Park would have worked if they only cloned the herbivore dinosaurs.
6-10 Shower Thoughts
6. A truly “smart” TV would have the option to automatically turn the volume down during commercials.
7. It takes 250 million years for the sun to orbit the milky way. So technically, dinosaurs lived on the opposite side of the galaxy from us.
8. If homosexuality occurs naturally in almost all animals, you’ve probably seen a lesbian pigeon at some point.
9. There are probably people out there who wanted a surprise party for their birthday their whole life and never got one. If they asked it wouldn’t be a surprise.
10. Cigarettes only look cool in movies and TV shows because you can’t smell them.
11-15 Shower Thoughts
11. Not pausing your music when you take off your headphones makes you feel like you’re wasting the music.
12. As USB-c becomes the standard, one day, we will all start throwing our MicroUSB connectors in boxes and keeping them forever for no reason just like our parents used to store VCR cables.
13. We never really actually grow up. We just decide how to pretend in public and that becomes our personality.
14. As toys make no effort to hide from security cameras in the Toy Story universe, there must be a secret society aware of their sentience.
15. “I heard it on the news” Is not a reliable explanation anymore.
