Here are this week’s shower thoughts.
1-5 Interesting Shower Thoughts
1. Dog food could say it is any flavor it wants, you’re not going to test it.
2. My car keys have traveled more than my car.
3. You think you’re unique until you have to choose a username.
4. When I was a small child, my grandmother showed me love by playing along with my make believe games. Now that she is older and has dementia it is my turn to show love by playing along with hers.
5. What if we actually are living in a computer simulation, and superstitions like wishes on birthday candles or shooting stars are based on old cheat codes that have since been patched?
6-10 Interesting Shower Thoughts
6. Folding clothes is just creating socially-accepted wrinkles.
7. Sports are mostly about people trying to stop each other from completing very simple tasks.
8. Cats probably think we are cleaning our ice cream
9. When boy bands sing about wanting girls who don’t know they’re beautiful, it sounds like they’re targeting girls with low self-esteem as easy pickings.
10. Trying to lose a game of rock-paper-scissors is just as hard as trying to win.
11-15 Interesting Shower Thoughts
11. If I was a musician, I would let Weird Al parody my song under the stipulation that I be somewhere in the music video, dressed up as a parody of Weird Al.
12. The names Daniel Radcliffe and Rupert Grint sound more made-up than Harry Potter and Ron Weasley.
13. The Jurassic Park movies have ruined any possibility of there being a dinosaur theme park.
14. As a college senior, I can’t wait until my net worth is finally $0.
15. Almost all good decisions I’ve made since adulthood have been preceded by the phrase, “Fu*k it”.
16-20 Interesting Shower Thoughts
16. Running out of toilet paper is proof I have failed as an adult.
17. If North Korea were human, it would be a teenager. It can’t feed itself and makes loud threats that it never delivers on.
18. When I buy a lottery ticket, I’m really just buying 20 seconds of fantasizing how my life would change for the better.
19. The letter ‘g’ looks like a snail sideways.
20. “deep” is “deep” upside down.
21-25 Interesting Shower Thoughts
21. I tell myself that I could handle destroying the One Ring, but I can’t stop myself from eating too much pizza.
22. Cutting paper is just 2D sculpting.
23. All the words people invent when playing Scrabble should go into a dictionary that’s used to name new prescription drugs.
24. The terms of service is just like my girlfriend, you never understand what she’s saying but you nod along like you agree.
25. If you accuse someone of being argumentative, they can’t disagree with you without proving your point.