Here are this week’s shower thoughts.
1-5 Interesting Shower Thoughts
1. I like to think money wouldn’t change me; yet when I’m winning Monopoly I’m a terrible person.
2. When you buy a washing machine it should come with a laundry basket that indicates how much can fit into the washing machine.
3. If organized crime started printing high quality counterfeit college textbooks and then sold them at cut rate prices, it would be a really good public relations move.
4. The Hobbit was a book about the dangers of greed. The Hobbit films were ruined because of greed.
5. Snapchat is ruining all the progress we made on getting people to take horizontal videos.
6-10 Interesting Shower Thoughts
6. Depression is like being in an emotionally abusive relationship with your brain.
7. The expression “Great Minds Think Alike” is the exact opposite of what we value great minds for.
8. At age 25 if a friend tells me they’re pregnant I don’t know whether to say “oh sh*t!” Or “congratulations!”
9. Sleep is like a 33% tax on life.
10. If pigs could fly I bet their wings would taste delicious.
11-15 Interesting Shower Thoughts
11. When you paint a room, you are making it slightly smaller.
12. Being born is the first time I did something for the last time and dying will be the last time I do something for the first time.
13. Pets are better than children. They eat less, they don’t ask for money, and if they get pregnant, you can sell their babies.
14. Both types of fans make people cooler.
15. An NBA player being fined $25,000 is the equivalent of me being fined $4.60 based on my own net worth.
16-20 Interesting Shower Thoughts
16. If you only charge you phone when you sleep, your phone’s battery level reflects your battery level.
17. Books replaced tablets over thousand years ago and now tablets are replacing them again.
18. If you had a 3d printer, you could illegally download lego.
19. One day, you will be as unfamiliar with technology as your parents are today.
20. When many people were young, they couldn’t use the phone when the internet was on. Now they can’t use their phones unless the internet is on.
21-25 Interesting Shower Thoughts
21. I wonder how many places I’ve already visited for the last time.
22. Instead of tear gas, police should employ THC cannisters during a riot and push multiple free snack carts in outward directions to disperse rioters and dissuade them from destruction.
23. The Swiss must’ve been pretty confident in their chances of victory if they included a corkscrew on their army knife.
24. Thanks to the Internet, I have probably seen more naked ladies than all of my ancestors combined.
25. Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson should host a cooking show where contestants have to guess what he’s cooking by smell alone.