Here are this week’s shower thoughts.
1-5 Shower Thoughts
1. It makes more sense to inherit maternal surnames since you can’t always be sure who the father is, but you can always be sure who the mother is.
2. Once we have self-driving cars, wipers will no longer be essential, because the car doesn’t need a clean windshield to drive. Only humans do.
3. There’s a type of person who will take only one slice of pizza in case there isn’t enough for everyone and a type who will take three slices for the same reason.
4. Going to the grocery with a full stomach is as close to post-nut clarity as you can get with clothes on.
5. Your hand is the point where your arm branches off into smaller arms.
6-10 Shower Thoughts
6. Dogs probably wonder why we constantly steal their sh*t.
7. If 24-hour clocks started at 23:59 and counted down till 00:01, people might try getting more done.
8. The only thing you do with Q-tips, are the only thing you’re not supposed to do with them.
9. We have the ability to give ourselves an orgasm by thought alone (wet dreams), we just haven’t discovered how to consciously yet.
10. Alcohol is the only drug that people will question you for not using.
11-15 Shower Thoughts
11. The artificial strawberry flavor is one of the most appreciated in the world, but it never tasted like strawberry.
12. You know you’re an adult if you remember your birth year rather than your age.
13. You can probably tell if someone had a good or bad childhood by whether or not they like surprises.
14. The fact that a large chunk of the human population has forgotten about the horrors of illnesses such as measles/mumps/rubella is a testament to the effectiveness of the science that contributed to their eradication.
15. Weird how the sun makes people darker but fades everything else.