Here are this week’s shower thoughts.
1-5 Shower Thoughts
1. Trying to carry your groceries in one trip is probably the most effortful form of laziness.
2. The gay flag is a rainbow. A rainbow is a curve. A curve is not straight.
3. We’ve never actually heard the Monster Mash, just a song about the Monster Mash.
4. The presence of urinals yields far more information than their absence.
5. On a tidally locked planet, noon is a location.
6-10 Shower Thoughts
6. First half of your life is people telling you not to do drugs. The second half of your life is people telling you about drugs you need to take.
7. A lot of people wouldn’t know what to do with themselves if there was a compulsory worldwide internet shut down once a week for health reasons.
8. The coldest temperature possible in the universe is -459.67 F. The hottest is theorized as 2,556,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 F. We live within a very small sliver at the very bottom of the spectrum. That’s probably why your wife’s feet are always cold.
9. Conspiracy theorists want you to be skeptical and to challenge everything….except them.
10. It is known that drinking coffee prevents one from sleeping, but sleeping prevents one from drinking coffee a lot more effectively.
11-15 Shower Thoughts
11. Nothing says you’re rich quite like having a couch that doesn’t touch any of the room’s walls.
12. You compliment fake breasts by saying they must be real. You compliment real breasts by saying they must be fake.
13. Laziness has prevented more crime than any law or law enforcement ever will.
14. Pluto wasn’t demoted, it went from being a tiny, irrelevant planet to being the king of an entirely new class of solar system objects.
15. Dads don’t care about their yard looking nice. They just want to be left alone for a couple of hours each week.