Here are this week’s shower thoughts.
1-5 Interesting Shower Thoughts
1. Sometimes I wish I were a little kid so I could take a long nap and everyone would just be proud of me.
2. The fact that I can’t recognize my co-workers outside of uniform 85% of the time, tells me superman knows exactly what he’s doing.
3. 1984-2000 seems a very long time compared to 2000-2016. Also 2032 seems lot further in the future than 2000 seems to be in the past.
4. Every time I check my pockets for my wallet, keys, and phone, I do 25% of the macarena.
5. As someone with a bad memory, I wish I could Google things that happened in my life like “What is the longest amount of time I have gone without sleep?” “Was there ever a time where I held a world record?” “What did I have for lunch a year ago?”
6-10 Interesting Shower Thoughts
6. I wonder who the first person to die playing Pokémon Go will be and how they will die? It’s going to happen though.
7. As a 30 year old father, I’m horrified that my parents were forced to raise me without Google.
8. Fifteen year olds on summer vacation are probably the least stressed they will be until they’re retired.
9. There’s a massive difference between eating ramen noodles because you want to and eating them because you have to.
10. I realized my friends have reached maturity since I can leave my Facebook open without them posting “I am gay” as my status.
11-15 Interesting Shower Thoughts
11. There are 30,000 traffic fatalities every year in the United States and few people think twice about driving, but when just one happens in an automated car it’s a major setback.
12. My penis and stomach are like my two business partners whose sole purpose is to run the business into the ground.
13. Heat, Pressure, and Time, the three things that make a diamond are also the three things that make a waffle.
14. Ironing boards are just surf boards that stopped pursuing their dreams and got a real job instead.
15. The easiest way to get people to work together is giving them something to hate. So I think we need an alien invasion to unite people.
16-20 Interesting Shower Thoughts
16. Yelling at someone is basically like saying, “Here’s my stress. It’s all yours now.”
17. In DMV photos I think they want you to have the same expression as when you get pulled over.
18. Those who go out of their way to make others happy at the expense of themselves probably don’t want others to feel the kind of sadness they are feeling on the inside.
19. Cars can drive themselves, phones are voice activated, and I can pay for groceries with my phone, but elevators still don’t have a “cancel” button.
20. I’m not a bad person, but if I had superpowers, I know I wouldn’t use them solely for good.
21-25 Interesting Shower Thoughts
21. Canada and the US should just combine their independence days into one four-day binge drinking, fireworks, and barbeque bonanza.
22. At the end of my life one of my legs will have walked further than the other but I will never know which one.
23. I’ve seen my face constantly for 21 years and yet how I picture myself in my head and how I look in a mirror are always slightly different.
24. There are 1.2 billion cars on the road right now. One of our biggest goals is to keep them from touching.
25. Whether you’re going the speed limit, under the speed limit or over the speed limit, someone is going to be irritated with you.