Here are this week’s shower thoughts.
1-5 Shower Thoughts
1. April Fool’s Day is the one day of the year when people critically evaluate news articles before accepting them as true.
2. Netflix needs an incognito mode so that I can watch terrible films without getting recommended more terrible films.
3. Web sites should post their password requirements on their login pages so I can remember WTF I needed to do to my normal password to make it work on their site.
4. I have never once hit the space bar while watching a YouTube video with the intention of scrolling halfway down the page.
5. There should be confetti in tires so when there is a blowout it’s still kind of an okay day.
6-10 Shower Thoughts
6. When medication says “do not operate heavy machinery” they’re probably mainly referring to cars, but my mind always goes to forklift.
7. The reason “the real joke is always in the comments” is because it’s way easier to add comedy than to create it from nothing. This is why your hilarious friend can’t just go on stage and do a stand-up.
8. No matter how legitimately thrilled I am by a gift, I always feel like my “thank you”s don’t sound genuine.
9. Telling my Echo to tell my Roomba to start working creates a weird robotic hierarchy in my household.
10. If the media stopped saying “hacking” and instead said “figured out their password”, people would probably take password security a lot more seriously.
11-15 Shower Thoughts
11. Cup holders are just cup cups.
12. The “Be Cool. Stay In School.” campaign is what taught me that dropping out was even a possibility.
13. Funny WiFi addresses are the new funny answering machine messages.
14. I still feel like I’m lying when I tell a site I’m over 18 even though I’m 20 years old.
15. January 1st is the only day of the year where I recognize 12 am as a new day.
16-20 Shower Thoughts
16. Home is where the toilet paper is the softest.
17. Butter is just abused milk.
18. The most unrealistic aspect of the Harry Potter universe is that they eventually use all the skills/knowledge they learn in school.
19. Some women want their outfit to be noticed. As a male, I would prefer nobody noticing it so I can still wear it the next day.
20. I base 95% of my purchases off of product reviews, yet always forget to leave one myself.
21-25 Shower Thoughts
21. I am 100% confident that if I ever hit a kid with my car, it will be because I’m staring at my speedometer in a school zone.
22. In normal English, execute and kill are synonyms, but on a computer, they’re antonyms.
23. If Spotify/Pandora played sounds of screaming babies instead of ads, I’d go premium instantly.
24. Movie theaters should charge babies as adults to deter people from bringing them.
25. Whenever I am doing work, I wish I was relaxing. Whenever I am relaxing, I wish I was doing something productive.