Here are this week’s shower thoughts.
1-5 Shower Thoughts
1. The object of golf is to play the least amount of golf.
2. If you froze an egg and threw it through somebody’s window while they’re not in, they would come home to a broken window and a raw unscathed egg and wonder how the hell it happened.
3. I always skip steps when walking up stairs but if every other step were missing I’d be pissed.
4. Scientists are going to be pissed when they send probes to the new exoplanets and find that the Vikings got there hundreds of years before them.
5. With an average of 7 lbs of feces inside them, 536 people have been to space. It costs ~10k per pound for a trip to space. We’ve spent around $32.5 million shipping literal sh*t into space.
6-10 Shower Thoughts
6. Toasters should eject toast at least a foot into the air like in the cartoons.
7. As a little kid, being 3 times my regular height while sitting on my dad’s shoulders was fun. As an adult, being 3 times my regular height while climbing a ladder is terrifying.
8. There should be a GPS option that gives you fun facts about the places you drive through.
9. When we are no more, evolved insects will have myths about titans.
10. Every time I take my infant son to the doctor, I feel like I’m getting approved to keep my baby for three more months
11-15 Shower Thoughts
11. If parents see me gaming, leave and come back an hour later and I am still playing, they will assume I was gaming the whole time. If parents see me studying, leave and come back another hour later and I am still studying, they will assume I was gaming the whole time.
12. I wonder how many engagement rings fall from the top of the Eiffel Tower every year.
13. I really appreciate all the wealthy people who buy nice clothes, take good care of them and then give them to thrift shops.
14. Letting go of a balloon is like long distance littering.
15. When I see someone driving the same brand car as me, I automatically assume we’re friends.