Here are this week’s shower thoughts.
1-5 Shower Thoughts
1. Airports should have small movie theaters for layovers. They would make a killing.
2. If your username is John68 I assume you’re 49 years old, if it’s John69 I assume you’re 12 years old.
3. If I were a ghost I’d barely haunt anyone. I’d spend my time in nature exploring jungles, caves, and oceans without the fear of dying.
4. Cinemas should play a clip with someone saying “OK Google, Silencio! Hey Siri, adjust the volume to zero percent!” before the movie starts.
5. Every time I find a new favorite song and eagerly check out the artist/band for more, it turns out that’s the one song that’s different from the whole rest of their career.
6-10 Shower Thoughts
6. If a ghost can open cupboards and break things, why not just take a pencil, find paper, write exactly why it’s unhappy, and tape the message on the fridge.
7. Constantly driving stolen cars in GTA must be so uncomfortable since everyone’s seat and mirrors are adjusted to the owner’s liking.
8. Regret is the wet sock you get from not picking up the bit of ice that fell on the kitchen floor 15 minutes ago.
9. Every bullet ever fired since my birth has missed me by a certain number of inches. I wonder what the lowest number is.
10. Twice a year, on daylight savings day, I am reminded that no matter what we believe, when we put our minds to it we can all come together to achieve some pointless sh*t.
11-15 Shower Thoughts
11. I hate having to prove to a robot that I am not a robot.
12. Harry Potter, already suffering from neglect and abuse, found out he was rich, famous, a wizard and has a serial killer arch nemesis in the same day and didn’t go completely insane.
13. Until about 120 years ago, the only humans who had ever traveled as fast I do on the highway every day were in the middle of falling to their deaths.
14. I have never met a person in my life who sticks their gum under a table, but when you look under most tables there’s always gum.
15. I’d like to see a slow motion video of earphones getting tangled in a pocket because I just don’t believe it sometimes.