Here are this week’s shower thoughts.
1-5 Shower Thoughts
1. Me at 8 years old: “When I grow up no one will tell me when I have to go to bed.” Me at 33 years old: “Ooo, there’s an app that will analyze my sleep quality and patterns and alert me when my optimal bedtime is approaching.”
2. If I see Google in a show/movie I think nothing of it, but if I see Bing, I know it’s product placement.
4. As an introvert I get more enjoyment from being invited to a party then I do from attending the party.
5. Weird how shoelaces untie themselves and headphone cords tie themselves
6-10 Shower Thoughts
6. The new credit card chip readers should play a pleasant sound to notify that your card is approved. The harsh buzzing noise they make gives me a mini panic attack every time thinking my card was declined.
7. The man bun is the mullet of the millennials.
8. Something tells me that the only reason I’m a ‘good’ person by society’s standards is that I’m well-off, and I’ve never been in a situation where the benefit of committing a crime outweighs the risk of punishment. If I were less fortunate, that might be a different story.
9. Every man has at least once in their life attempted to hang a towel from their erect penis.
10. If people really could spin in their graves we could harness it as a new form of green energy and power our homes by disgracing our ancestors.
11-15 Shower Thoughts
11. I’d hit the gym and get ripped too if I was offered 10 million for 6 months work on a movie.
12. If you’re good at bullshitting a paper, you’re probably just good at writing.
13. People always want the rarest stuff, unless it’s a medical condition.
14. Picking up this tiny piece of paper would take 2 seconds, but instead, I’m gonna run it over 100 times with my vacuum at different angles.
15. You can’t actually make money, you can only convince other people to give it to you.