Here are this week’s shower thoughts.
1-5 Shower Thoughts
1. Saying “uh huh” in phone conversations with my mom is like mashing the button to speed up NPC conversations in video games.
2. In the age of Google, knowing the right questions to ask really is more important than knowing the answers.
3. If I appeared in front of my dog through teleportation, he would oversee the fact that I teleported and be happy that I’m home.
4. I don’t know what color my grandparent’s hair originally was. They were always gray when I knew them and their youth pictures are in black and white.
5. Google just gave me 21,900,000 search results in 0.62 seconds, and I got annoyed because what I wanted wasn’t on the first page.
6-10 Shower Thoughts
6. When I was younger I’d to try and impress people by how expensive an item was but as I’ve grown up, I now try to impress people with how cheap I got something.
7. In this day in age texting, 911 should be available in all areas. Who wants to risk their intruder hearing them while hiding in the closet?
8. I always judge how good a movie is its ability to make me forget to check how much of it is left.
9. If cops really want to crack down on drunk driving they should go undercover as fast food drive-thru workers.
10. The worst part about dinosaurs being extinct is that some of them probably tasted awesome. We’re missing an entire category of meat.
11-15 Shower Thoughts
11. My driver side window won’t go down. So I guess I’m on a diet now.
12. Apple has given me the ability to make my friend’s screen explode into lasers with a simple text message, but I still can’t type in bold or italics.
13. ‘Don’t you dare’ sounds normal, but ‘do not you dare’ sounds weird to say.
14. Correcting students when they say “Can I use the bathroom?” is worthless because no adult ever has to ask to use the bathroom.
15. Maybe in hell, they show a slideshow of your deleted selfies in a loop.