Here are this week’s shower thoughts.
1-5 Shower Thoughts
1. Technically almost every mirror you buy at a store is in used condition.
2. Being “Jr.” or “the Second” is the real life equivalent of having to put numbers after a username.
3. Weddings are weird because it’s totally socially acceptable to get all your friends and family together, sort them by how much you like them, and place them at tables that show the ranking based on proximity to you.
4. It bothers me so much that there are so many songs I don’t know about that I might like so much.
5. In about 10 years, Fidget Spinners will be part of “Only 2000s kids will remember” posts.
6-10 Shower Thoughts
6. Snapchat should always open with the outward facing camera on so I don’t have to be startled by my gross f*cking face.
7. Adults would go totally crazy if they were expected to share their possessions the same way children are.
8. Whenever I copy a massive piece of text from something, I feel like I’m holding a massive, unstable power in my mouse until I paste it.
9. Every person you’ve ever thought was cute has had heaving, grunting, sweating, explosive diarrhea.
10. In an English exam, if you ask for the extra paper you’re doing well, if you ask for extra paper in a Maths exam, everyone knows you’ve f*cked up.
11-15 Shower Thoughts
11. When I knock on your door I’m basically punching your house until you talk to me.
12. Not being invited to a wedding is both insulting and relieving at the same time.
13. Give a child a sword-shaped stick, and he’ll become a man. Give a man a sword-shaped stick, and he’ll become a child.
14. Thar stingray that killed Steve Irwin is probably dead now and got a hug from Steve himself in animal heaven because Steve’s a good guy like that.
15. Just like a yearly physical, people should be required to have a yearly mental wellness check in with a counselor.