Here are this week’s shower thoughts.
1-5 Shower Thoughts
2. If the Bloodhound Gang song about “doing it like they do on the Discovery Channel” were written today, they would be singing about having sex on a crab fishing boat, or with gold miners, or while flipping cars in Texas.
3. I never questioned my ability to correctly identify images of everyday things until CAPTCHA started gaslighting the underlying definition of things like cars, grass, or street signs leaving me still wondering if the poles are considered part of the sign or not.
4. Not many things say “this is someone else’s problem now” more than a leaf blower does.
5. I’ll bet the guy who invented the snooze button never invented anything else.
6-10 Shower Thoughts
6. If you like to drink, you know when the liquor store closes. If you are an alcoholic, you know when it opens.
7. Google Earth should develop a flat earth model for April Fools.
8. No matter what kind of calculator I am using, I am going to hit “clear” multiple times.
9. I don’t think I have ever picked up a pair of tongs without clicking them together a couple of times.
10. If you drive behind someone who’s driving a really nice car, you can pretend you’re driving it in third-person mode.
11-15 Shower Thoughts
11. The most unrealistic thing about Toy Story was the fact that the claw machine had the strength to pick up two toys.
12. The Flintstones ran to power their car, unaware that the fuel they needed was actually their pet dinosaur.
13. I’ve lived alone for approximately 36 hours now, and I don’t think the bathroom door will ever be shut again.
14. I can’t wait to kick my grandson’s ass in video games when I’m an old man like my grandfather kicked mine in chess and checkers.
15. People that say go big or go home probably highly underestimate your willingness to go home.