Here are this week’s shower thoughts.
1-5 Shower Thoughts
1. I’m not sure if my antivirus software is effective, because no viruses are detected on my computer, or ineffective because no viruses are detected on my computer.
2. Now that Chris Cornell, Layne Staley, Scott Weiland and Kurt Cobain are all gone, the chorus of Pearl Jam’s “Alive” sounds a bit like Eddie Vedder gloating.
3. I’m so conditioned to not use Fire Exits, I’m not sure I’d think to use one during an actual fire.
4. The saying ‘Money can’t buy you happiness’ should be changed to ‘Money can’t prevent sadness.’
5. “Forgive me Father for I have sinned” and “I’m sorry Daddy; I’ve been very naughty” are simultaneously saying very similar and very different things.
6-10 Shower Thoughts
6. Self-driving cars should be able to connect with smart-watches so that when the owner has a heart attack, the car can drive him to the hospital.
7. Surgery is stabbing someone to live.
8. A zombie apocalypse sounds even worse when you consider all those smoke detectors beeping for battery changes.
9. The male equivalent of I’ll be ready in 10 minutes is, “Honey there’s only 2 minutes left in the game”.
10. We charge more for jobs using our brains than our muscles. But we look after our physical health much more carefully than our mental health.
11-15 Shower Thoughts
11. Time acts like a little child. As long as you’re watching it, it’ll stay put. But once you stop paying attention to it, it’ll run off and next thing you know, you don’t know where your time went.
12. Not once in my adult life have I prepared a burrito for me without overestimating the amount of filling it can hold.
13. I only ever say “I’m an adult, I can do whatever I want” before I’m about to do something very childish.
14. Identical twins only have to apply for one gym membership.
15. As a teenager in the 90s, inserting an unlabeled VHS tape into the VCR and pressing play was my generation’s “risky click.”