Here are this week’s shower thoughts.
1-5 Shower Thoughts
1. When I have kids I’ll understand that they can’t pause an online game.
2. I never realized how much needed to be taught to us until my son asked me if he could pee in the trash can.
3. I’m not fully committed to the video until I turn my phone sideways.
4. As a kid, my chain always came off my bike. As an adult, it hasn’t happened once and I wonder what the hell I was doing.
5. I’ve trained my dog to bark at the door whenever he wants to go in or out, but to him, he thinks he has trained me to open the door whenever he barks.
6-10 Shower Thoughts
6. Humans are a super AI invented by mother nature and now we are slowly destroying our creator, the exact thing we are afraid of happening with computer AI today.
7. I regard NASCAR the same way I regard gay p*rn: I know it exists and I know some guys like it; I just don’t want to see it.
8. As a kid, when I fell asleep I used to teleport from the couch to my room, now when I’m older, when I get drunk I teleport from the party to anywhere.
9. Ugh, I love that moment when you go under a bridge when it’s pouring on the interstate and you get that second of silence before the rain starts pounding on your car again.
10. It blows my mind that there are people too lazy to re-rack weights at the gym. The entire premise of going to the gym is not being lazy.
11-15 Shower Thoughts
11. The media tells me that millennials are narcissistic, entitled, and rude. Working in customer service has taught me that is mostly everyone.
12. Even though hundreds of people write them, Wikipedia pages always sound like they’re written by one person.
13. Rappers pretend they have more money than they really do. Country Singers pretend that they have less money than they really do.
14. I’m far more skeptical of meat I cook for myself than a hamburger made by an underpaid/overworked teenage stranger who passes food to me through my car window.
15. A sheep spends its whole life fearing the wolves, only to be eaten by the Shepherd in the end.
