Here are this week’s shower thoughts.
1-5 Shower Thoughts
1. The first man who gave a colorful sparkly stone to a girl really had no idea what he was getting the rest of us into.
2. If we mounted cameras on garbage trucks, Google Maps Street View could update weekly.
3. Conspiracy theories make dumb people feel smart.
4. If we allowed people to adopt tigers as pets, we’d probably save the tiger population while getting our own population under control at the same time.
5. Why do people think vanilla ice cream is plain? It’s vanilla-flavored. Plain would be just frozen cream.
6-10 Shower Thoughts
6. Adulthood is when 4:30 am is early in the morning instead of late at night.
7. Computer desk jobs are becoming the modern version of factory assembly line jobs.
8. Humans built a space rocket with stuff we found in the dirt.
10. Condoms should have cheesy pick-up lines on the inside of the wrapper like Laffy Taffy has jokes on the inside of them.
11-15 Shower Thoughts
11. A phone can make sound travel faster than the speed of sound.
12. People born in 1995 are 22 and those born in -22 are 95.
13. If cigarettes continue to fall by the wayside to vaping, future kids are going to be talking about how their dad left to get juice ten years ago and never came back.
14. Websites should have a counter for how many times someone else has tried to claim your username.
15. It’s a good thing money isn’t orange or rappers would have a harder time rapping about it.