Here are this week’s shower thoughts.
1-5 Shower Thoughts
1. New Year’s Eve (2017) will be the only day when every adult was born in the 1900s, and every minor was born in the 2000s.
2. The first time someone steals a spaceship and flies away is going to be epic.
3. “Bob’s Burgers” would also be an appropriate title for SpongeBob SquarePants.
4. Somewhere in China, there’s a warehouse filled with millions of fidget spinners and a company about to go bankrupt.
5. No matter how many lasagnas you stack on top of each other, ultimately it’s always just one lasagna.
6-10 Shower Thoughts
6. Humans are such apex predators that we think getting scared like prey is fun and entertaining.
7. The first person to use a fake mustache as a disguise was probably very successful.
8. If Google was serious about being spooky, instead of playing scary music and flicking lights, saying “Hey Google, let’s get spooky!” would make your google home tell you all the things that Google’s algorithm has learned about you based on your data.
9. If youth is wasted on the young, then wealth is wasted on the old.
10. In GTA, everyone drives with their doors unlocked despite high crime rates.
11-15 Shower Thoughts
11. If you live by yourself, you are your own family, and therefore don’t have to feel guilty about eating the whole bag of family size chips.
12. “Let that sink in” is the most polite way to say “Give your dumb brain a minute to process this information”. Let that sink in.
13. If college students got their money back for each class they got an A in, colleges would have a much higher average GPA.
14. If you ever feel useless, just be glad you’re not the person who writes the Terms and Conditions.
15. Adulthood is wanting to cry for 4 days straight but not having the time.
I think colleges would also experience a much higher cheating rate.
… and much harsher grading standards