Here are this week’s Life Pro Tips.
1. If you’re still a teenager, treat your ears nicely.
Ears don’t repair themselves and earplugs to concerts are better than tinnitus for the rest of your life.
2. You know that guy who always gives great advice? Ask them if they are ok for once.
They are usually the most damaged, hence their understanding and compassion of other people’s problems.
3. When in an argument, pretend like you’re being recorded.
This will prevent you from saying stupid/mean things you may regret later.
4. “Do you know why I pulled you over?” Translates from cop speak as “Are you stupid enough to incriminate yourself for my benefit?”
Never answer this even if it is obvious. At best, you have just admitted guilt. A worse possibility is that you confess something else:
You: “Because I didn’t come to a complete stop/speeding/seatbelt?”
Cop: “No, your tail light is out. But I’ll write that down too.”
5. If you don’t have a candle, a crayon can burn for about half an hour in an emergency.
How long can a candle burn if its not an emergency?
LOL!