11. Yes, A Thousand times yes.
My mother was abusive and manipulative, especially when I got out of college. She couldn’t stand the fact that I A) Didn’t move back home and B) was developing a life for myself.
She resorted to name calling, insults, attacking my partners, finding where I worked and calling me there (Never gave her that number). She would send me angry messages about how I am an awful son and she wished I was never born. She sent pictures of my things I had left behind in her home and said she sold them. She showed me pictures of gifts I had given her over the years smashed to bits.
In the end, I couldn’t do it, I couldn’t keep giving her another shot, another chance, and had to go dark in terms of her. She was stalking my social media and I had to change all of it, lock things down, change numbers, etc. It was an incredibly hard experience and yeah, I miss the memories of the mother I once knew, but today I’m so much better without that darkness in my life.
12. If your mom is a toxic person, of course, it’s okay. Having a narcissistic mom myself, I can understand where you’re coming from. I don’t want my mom to be a part of my life anymore because she is a very toxic person who only looks to push to your buttons so she can play victim with everyone she knows to gain sympathy (one of many things she does to manipulate me.) That toxic behavior cost me friendships and close contact with relatives. To be fair, my mom’s relatives are narcissists as well and a few of them wanted “legit” reasons to cut contact with me anyway so no loss there for the most part.
In the end, I knew my life was not going to go anywhere with this woman in my life so I left. Although I still talk to her, it’s very low contact and I intend to go no contact with her soon so I don’t have to deal with her anymore. Moving to a different state helped a lot because my mom has the anxiety to leave within a 30-mile radius of home.
13. More or less, yes. But it depends on the situation. Sometimes people blame their parents for things that are not their fault.
Still, I had to drastically cut back my mom time, but I know it upsets her. She didn’t really do anything terrible. But she drives me up the wall. I disagree with 99% of the life choices she’s made, and she spends half her time complaining about those choices and the other half pestering me about the things I should or should not do.
14. Here it goes,
- Blood relation is not a pass to be a troublesome person or reason to tolerate.
- The family does not automatically mean love, but love can mean family.
- Live life for you, not how you think others feel you should.
15. Ever been on an airplane? Their safety speech before they break out the liquor. “Always put your own oxygen mask on before assisting other passengers”.
You need to take care of yourself first. Once you catch your breath, you can decide if you want her in your life at all, occasionally, the point is it’s all for nothing if you’re not happy.
16. I’m currently struggling with this same question. After a lifetime of neglect and emotional abuse, my mom pulled some unthinkable stuff about a month ago that has really been weighing me down mentally and emotionally. On top of this, I am five months pregnant so I have a whole other world of worry and attention I need to focus on. I am very seriously considering ending my relationship with her. Not because I want to necessarily, but because I think that I have to. It feels a lot like a bad break up and right now I am just struggling with trying to find an answer. I do not want to live my life going back and forth with our relationship because in the past when I have cut contact, once it restarted it ended up causing me a lot of damage. It’s a cycle I want to end.
17. I did 20 years ago. I’ve never regretted it for a moment.
18. Absolutely it is. Your well being in the important thing, first and foremost. If your parent can’t handle that, that is their problem, not yours. Any action they take or consequence they suffer because of that is their fault, not yours.
I was about 20 when my brother tried to gut me with a kitchen knife when I called him out for spreading a disgusting rumor about my girlfriend (now wife) and I.
My parents sided with him in the situation, said I needed to calm down and look at things from his perspective. He tried to kill me, and they sided with him.
I didn’t speak to or visit my parents for 3 years after that.
19. Because she conceived you doesn’t mean she gets to destroy you. You wouldn’t let anyone else walk over you. Why let someone that should be nurturing do it?
20. This question is super interesting to me. My mom suffered a terrible back injury (she severed a nerve between here L3 and L4 vertebrae). Long story short she became a product of our corrupted pharmaceutical industry. Heavy doses of Percocet and oxycontin turned into dependency which turned into depression which turned into bipolarism, catatonia, and psychosis. I handled it for about 4 years, had to drop out of school 3 times and quit one of my jobs. I love my mom but it is such a toxic environment for just her my dad and me, I moved out of state and it’s been the best 13 months of my life.
21. Blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb.
22. It is okay, and I’ve had to do it with my parents at one point, but not permanently. I was unemployed at the time, and every interaction with them was just complaining about me and hounding about jobs that it soured every conversation, and they made it clear I was worthless and disappointing to them as I was now. Since I am now employed, we have a good relationship again.
23. The fact that it’s to protect your mental health an overall wellbeing should say enough. You need to put yourself first, others second in some situations.
24. Yes, it is. It’s hard but toxic people are toxic people, no matter who they are to you.
25. Yes, yes, yes, yes a million times yes. My mother was and still is a nasty and abusive woman who I don’t want anything to do with. I don’t want her around my husband, I don’t want her around my kids (should I ever have kids), I want nothing to do with her. Just because she is your mother doesn’t make her a good person. And don’t let other people influence you and try to say, “but she’s your mother how can you do that?” Those people were probably lucky enough to have a decent human being as a mother.