11. I call this the hyenas in an elevator trick. Have people tried to suck you into drama or gossip? Start side tracking with random thoughts and facts about hyenas, but do it in a way that’s slightly related to the topic at hand.
Ex1: Jerk: “You know, I heard Sharon went down on a guy in an elevator, isn’t she such a slut?” You: There doesn’t seem to be much room in this building’s elevator. I can’t even imagine a full grown hyena fitting in there. You know, I wonder how many hyenas fit in there? I mean, I guess I could look up the average size of a hyena takes out smartphone okay they are 3.1 – 5.4 ft. Now if we take the height of the elevator…. and so on.
Ex2: Jerk: You know, I heard coworker has a loose vag from sleeping around. You: Did you know Hyenas has a false penis that they give birth through?
They will end up thinking you are stupid and boring and leave you alone. Also, you will learn a lot about hyenas.
12. If you want to calm someone down, sympathize with them whilst describing what’s upsetting them in descending orders of magnitude.
I understand why you’re angry
you’re right to be frustrated
This would annoy me too.
As they accept the acknowledgments they want they should also accept the declining emphasis on emotion and become calmer.
13. I had a very strange encounter with a co-worker once. We were on a break, had chatted a bit, the usual mundane, “are you married, etc, do you have kids” and when I said no, she waited, staring at me, for me to continue. Boy did that ever work, the longer she stared the more I babbled, I couldn’t stop talking. I’d finish a sentence, she kept staring and I’d start talking again and not because she was politely listening. She was compelling me to talk. I have no idea why she did that, if it was just her way or if she does that to learn things about people but it was the creepiest conversation I have ever had. I’m older now so that wouldn’t work for me but it sure was effective at the time.
14. Many people (I would say most, maybe almost all) are surprisingly susceptible to flattery and being told what they want to hear. People tend to shy away from this strategy, thinking it will be too obvious and clumsy, but just try it. It’s as if being flattered or hearing people agree with you gives people a rush of pleasurable hormones to the brain.
15. When playing rock, paper, scissors stop right before and ask “without looking, can you tell me what color your shirt is?” and people seem to always pick scissors after. I’ve done it to maybe 20 people and got the same result every time.
16. When something funny happens and people or a person in a group laughs, they will look at the person they like or care about in the group the most to see if they’re laughing too. When you notice this it’s quite easy to tell who likes who.
17. To get someone to like you more, ask them to do a favor for you like let you borrow a pencil. Benjamin Franklin was a big proponent of this idea.
18. If I want my cat to jump up for cuddles I first have to act totally disinterested and like I don’t care what he does. Works every time.
19. When you need someone to wait a moment as you hunt for something, or you’re struggling, say “Thank you for your patience” instead of “sorry for the wait”
It subtly strokes their ego and makes them MORE likely to be kind and patient with you, because you’ve already asserted they’re kind and patient people, and denying that would hurt their own self-image.
Works with most people, but some are just raging a**holes lol.
20. When things are quiet amongst a group of people, all I have to do is say “Uh-Oh” and everyone suddenly becomes intensely curious about what is going on. I find it best to exit stage left right about that time.
Basically, “Ways I learned how to manipulate people.”