11. An employee missed a few days at work because he had been arrested and jailed. Told me it was a mistake and he was innocent. Turned out he was right.
12. Someone was running late for something due to a traffic accident, and a road was closed. So they tried an alternate route, and that was closed for a different incident. So they called, said that they’d try another way. The third route was blocked for something else. They called again, said they gave up and went back home. Checked the news, and they weren’t making any of it up there was no escape from their neighborhood for a while that day, several main roads were shut down for various reasons.
13. I showed up to a class with only 45 minutes left. My teacher was going to give me detention.
I told him that I had rescued a rooster that was in the hallway, and the guidance counselor and I had taken him to the SPCA. Even I knew it sounded far-fetched. He yelled at me and told me to sit down.
My guidance counselor ran in then and exclaimed: “Guess what we just did!”
No detention for me!
14. “Sorry mate a swan wouldn’t let me out the car.”
Turns out it was true as he was on the phone to his mum screaming and she takes great joy telling us this story.
15. Not me; my friend.
First date with a girl he was crazy about: she stood him up. She calls him two days later to apologize, saying she was in the hospital. I talk him into giving her another chance. Turns out she really was in the hospital. They’ve been married over 15 years now.
16. When my friend and I moved into our first apartment together, we thought it was cursed for a while. We both worked at the same shop, usually on different shifts.
About a month after moving in, she left for work, got about 10 steps down the road and saw a police cordon. The officer at the cordon was confused as to where she had come from since everybody within the area had been told not to leave their building, but this message obviously hadn’t got to us for whatever reason. She couldn’t get past and had to turn around and go home because apparently a WWII bomb had been uncovered on a nearby construction site. So our boss was told ‘yeah I might be late for work, there’s a bomb.’.
About 2 weeks later, I went to leave for work and when I opened the door to our flat, I was confronted with a long black bag propped up in the hallway against my neighbor’s door. There was nobody around for a second or two and I was very confused. Then a paramedic appeared, looked at me looking at the bag and told me to go back inside my flat, which I did because what else can you do? I closed my door and just stood in the same spot for about 5 minutes in total silence processing what was going on. Then a policewoman knocked on my door and apologized, told me to make myself a cup of tea and stay inside for a while. The black bag was, in fact, a body bag and my neighbor’s body was inside it because he had passed out drunk and choked on his own vomit, which is a real thing that does happen apparently. So then our boss got a call from me saying “sorry I’m gonna be late there’s a corpse in my hallway”.
At our work Christmas party that year we got an award for the best true reasons for being late he had heard in his 25 years as a manager.
17. I was once a month late to work because of a volcano going off. It was the Eyjafjallajökull volcano’s (great name) ash cloud in 2010 and I was stuck in Egypt on holiday for a whole month. Needless to say, it was great!
18. When I was a TA in some beginning French courses at my university, this one boy missed a school a lot. When he got back, his excuse was “my mom killed herself and my grandpa died.” It was true. He lost both family members in a matter of weeks.
I stayed with him in the library sometimes until 5 in the morning to help him catch up because I didn’t want him to fall behind because of these tragedies.
19. My cat tried to eat my homework when I was a kid. My teacher got a good laugh from the fang marks all over the page when I showed them.
20. I got a call once to go cover a shift for a co-worker as she has a horse at her house and she has to wait for it to be picked up. I laughed when I heard it but she sent me photos and apologized about me having to do her shift explaining the horse belongs to her mother and she often rides it to her house because the neighbor kids like it and stuff.
Turns out the horse got out the stables and decides to go for a long walk overnight and she was startled by some rattling at the open window in the living room. She thought somebody had broken in so ran in with a knife and found a horse head sticking through her open window into the living room like “Sup, got food? I’ve been walking all night and I’m hungry.”
Her parents came with their horse trailer thing to get it but it took a while before they could arrive.
21. The elevator at my university’s library got stuck. The security guard said it would take three hours to get us out. The girl beside me starts panicking, she’s supposed to write a final exam in a few minutes.
So the security guards called the professor to tell them that their student won’t be at the final because she is stuck in the elevator.
22. I had a student that claimed his eyes were swollen shut from poison ivy. I didn’t believe him, but another teacher dropped off some assignments at his house and said it was true.
23. An employee was late to work because she had to scrub down her car after her friend gave birth in it. They were on their way to the hospital and didn’t get there fast enough.
24. The battery died in her key fob for her car and she had to walk to the store to get a new battery because she didn’t know how to get in the car without it.
25. Asking someone I knew to go to the bar and hearing “I cant I got stabbed” turned out to be true. He sent me the video footage from the bar he was stabbed at. Over a game of pool arguing over the rules. The guy waited in bushes until bar close and stabbed him in the back. Cops did get the guy and the victim was okay after the hospital.