We asked our regular contributors through e-mail, What popular life advice do you disagree with? We got many interesting responses. Here are some of them. We have just copied and pasted their responses, not editing them in any way.
1. “Never change for anybody.”
Obviously, it’s not a good idea to change everything about yourself to get someone to like you.
The problem with that advice is that change is a natural part of life, and it’s inevitable when you meet someone you’re going to be with long term. I’ve changed a ton since I met my husband, and he has too. But we’ve changed for the better. It’s a good thing.
2. “Do what you love and you’ll never work a day of your life.”
I worked a job that I loved and it just became another job. The trick is to do the job you can see yourself doing for 40 years without going insane.
3. “Things will get better if you just persevere.”
Sometimes a thing will actually get worse until you decide to leave whatever situation is causing you problems.
4. “Family is family no matter what” or any such sentiment.
I made myself miserable for my entire adult life pretending I didn’t have serious issues with my selfish, poisonous mother because of choices she made when I was a kid. It took me till I was 32 years old to tell her I didn’t want to deal with her for a long period so I could have time to figure out how to forgive her and she reacted with the sharpest, most toxic reaction I could have anticipated. Sometimes family isn’t family, it’s just people you happened to grow up with (or didn’t). Sometimes real family is made up of the people you choose.
5. “Cheaters never prosper. ”
6. I don’t know if it could classify as “common” but I have and do suffer. Whenever I get one, it seems everyone around me is suddenly an expert. I have been told to:
- Put a cool towel on the back of my neck.
- Pinch the veins in the bridge of the nose.
- Tilt my head up.
- Make sure not to tilt my head.
- Make sure not to pinch any of the veins.
- Make sure not to blow out any clot.
- It is okay to blow out the clot.
- Squeeze tissue over my nostrils for 30 seconds.
- Squeeze tissue over my nostrils for one minute.
What have I found works best? Take some tissue/toilet paper/paper towel, etc and just shove it up the offending nostril and forget about it for 30 minutes or so.
7. Live each day as if it’s your last.
8. Never go to bed angry.
Stupidest thing one can do. Do go to bed angry. Give yourself time to process those raw emotions and think rationally before it is discussed more. Avoid pointless fights.
9. “Absence makes the heart grow fonder.”
“Out of sight, out of mind.”
One of these people is wrong.
10. “Always respect your elders.”
I get that they’re older than me (I am 35) however, a very good chunk of people older than me that I deal with daily are ignorant pricks who don’t deserve my respect.
There is also the polar opposite of that where they are extremely pleasant to deal with. I respect them.