A long time ago, we asked our regular contributors through e-mail, What’s the worst thing Neil Armstrong could have said while stepping on the Moon for the first time? We got many interesting responses. Here are some of them. We have just copied and pasted their responses, not editing them in any way and most of the respondents have requested to stay anonymous, so no names will be published.
1-5 Worst Things that Neil Armstrong could have said while stepping on the Moon
1. This isn’t that great, I think we just wasted a lot of money.
2. I claim this territory for the USSR.
3. Somebody pointed out that he could have said “Boy! I could sure use a Coca-Cola!” and be a millionaire.
4. Finally, a planet with only white people on it.
5. Christ, it’s hot. Did we have to film this in California?
6-10 Worst Things that Neil Armstrong could have said while stepping on the Moon
6. sh*t, the earth really is flat.
7. Oh, it’s all sticky!
8. This expedition is financed by SquareSpace. Go to squarespace.com to build your website.
9. I will put the flag next to the Russian flag.
10. This is Neil Armstrong from the moon, and before we begin, be sure to mash that like button and subscribe!
11-15 Worst Things that Neil Armstrong could have said while stepping on the Moon
11. Some c**t’s footprints are already here.
12. Houston, you’ll never believe this. It’s cheese. All of it.
13. “What is this? Who are you? Oh God!” Then the sound is cut and you never see him again.
14. Neil slips off and fall on the ground and says something like “GOD F*CKING DAMMIT” while the world is watching him.
15. I’m Commander Armstrong and this is my favorite satellite in the solar system.