Here are this week’s Life Pro Tips.
1. Don’t get discouraged by all these tech bros making billions “from nothing” and preaching about hard work. Most of them come from wealthy backgrounds.
One day on CNBC, a multimillionaire (~$300M) tech entrepreneur was talking about how his dad was some blue-collar guy who owned a blue-collar business. The interviewer asked follow-up questions, only to have the tech bro let slip that his dad owned several companies. The tech bro looked embarrassed and found out.
2. Your life is a finite resource. Don’t gift it to your employer as if it was free.
3. Beware – Peak hunting time for work bullies is when you are starting a new job. Naturally on day 1, you won’t be as good as your colleagues or as you were in the last job and they will exploit this vulnerability to target your confidence. Remember to show confidence, ask questions & do not apologize.
It’s natural to take a few weeks to months to get accustomed to a new role or job. Work bullies might prey in these initial weeks. They will try to tarnish your image in the team and destroy your self-esteem to enable them in exploiting you. It is also more common for senior co-workers who exploit their positions of power to show such behavior.
How to tackle this:
- The best way is to show confidence when you are sensing such behavior. DO NOT APOLOGIZE unnecessarily. Instead try saying “Oh so this is how it’s done, no one told me this. Thanks for highlighting it, is there anything I should keep in mind?
- Ask questions from start, be vocal. Do not let the bully think they can talk over you and shut you down.
- These are hard things to do, some bullies are too manipulative and will corner you down. Seek mentors/colleagues at work who believe in you and build you up.
If you are someone actively being bullied:-
- I am so sorry you are going through this. It is really hard when someone exploits you at your weakest.
- Seek out your friends and tell them what is happening and how you feel. Sharing helps.
- You might have to work on building your confidence for the long term, but the best immediate option is to start over or a new job. Such toxic work cultures are not worth your time. If you are still stuck there and cannot move because of monetary or other reasons, remember to remind yourself of your achievements and how far you have come, do not let these bullies make a dent in your self-worth, because that’s what they prey on upon.
There are people out there who are proud of you seek them. But the proudest has to be you 🙂
4. If you often have memories of your own past behavior that make you cringe, remind yourself that the fact you are looking back on those moments through that lens shows that you have a growth mindset.
5. Period guide for dudes.
The guide for every guy who has any women around, not only wife and girlfriend but just friends, moms, sisters, and colleagues.
- Have pads and tampons in your bathroom – Even if you live alone, buy some tampons and sanitary pads, and keep them in your bathroom. It may happen, that there is a party at your place or someone simply comes over and gets an unexpected period (sometimes they come a few days earlier, it just happens) – just let the girls know that you have their back in that case. You can tell them discreetly or just have a box marked “pads and tampons :)” in a visible place in your bathroom.
- Emergency pad or tampon in your car glove box is okay – doesn’t take much place, can save someone’s day.
- Every girl goes through period differently, so if you only experienced a girl that is acting normal, able to go jogging every morning and feeling all right on her period, don’t say anything like “you are overreacting” or “this can’t be that bad”, or “you are exaggerating” when you see a girl who says she’s very weak and feeling awful, suffering from bad cramps.
- If you are close with the girl, ask her about her period preferences – some girls prefer to stay at home and nap a lot, some prefer staying active and going for walks. Some girls crave salty foods, some crave chocolates. Ask her if she uses any specific painkillers for her menstrual cramps and buy them to have at your place.
- If you want to have any pills to help with menstrual cramps, look for something that is both a painkiller and relax muscles. You can ask a pharmacist, they will help you.
- If you notice that a girl has a bloodstain on her pants, tell her discreetly. Offer your jacket if you can, so she can tie it around her waist and at least cover the stain.
- If a girlfriend on her period stays overnight, you can offer a towel (some old one) so she can put it under her butt – if there is any leaking, it won’t stain your bed, and she won’t feel uncomfortable leaving a stain.
- If there is a bloodstain already, you can use: Coldwater (if it’s fresh), Hydrogen peroxide, Baking soda, Vinegar
- A girl may cry for “no reason” – she saw an TV ad where a dog got some no-name brand food and was sad because he wanted his favorite Advertised Brand Food – boom, she’s sobbing. Don’t say anything like “this is not a reason to cry, stop acting like a baby”. She is probably aware that this is a stupid reason, she just can’t fight her period-mind acting like that. Better say that this dog is just an actor trained to act like that, and he for sure got a belly rub after it was recorded and got a favorite snack.
- She may feel weaker than usual – offer help in doing stuff she usually does.