We asked our regular contributors through e-mail Turns out 2021 is just a bizarre and unprecedented as 2020, except its all good things that keep happening, what are they? We got many interesting responses. Here are some of them. We have just copied and pasted their responses, not editing them in any way.
1. That meteor that hits the earth is an alien space ship and they set up alien internet so we can learn all their science.
2. Aliens, but they’re the good kind, like Vulcans, but fun and sexy. They cure all our diseases, give us the secret of perpetual clean energy, and adopt us as their “little sister planet.” They think we’re cute and fun to have around.
3. January: Vaccine comes. It’s free and has no side effects.
February: Movies that were supposed to be released in 2020 all come out and the theaters are full of masterpieces.
March: Up and coming artists and authors have spent the lockdown sitting down to write and create. We’re starting to see the results of that.
April: Lou Bega releases Mambo no. 6 and it is all people can think about this month.
May: Turns out that climate change was a hoax. The climate just had a rough century and has learned to chill out more.
June: An alien escapes Area 51. Turns out he is a nice dude and guests all the late-night talk shows. On the inevitable Joe Rogan appearance, they both do DMT and learn so much about each other.
July: No one knows why or how it happened, but suddenly money just isn’t an issue anymore.
August: The whole alien thing from June has started to affect how we view each other on the planet. We are seeing a drastic and long-lasting decline in terrorism and crime.
September: God blessed us all.
October-November: Finally some normal and mundane events.
December: Home Alone remake with the original cast. All I want for Christmas is eradicated. You got a memorable present, and you made everyone truly happy with the ones you gave.
4. Ireland will have four actual seasons as opposed to winter rain, spring rain, summer rain, and autumn rain.
5. Tyson goes inside.
6. Sugar is now good for you in large doses.
7. 3 state solution in the middle east out of nowhere.
8. Politicians actually start working to benefit the people.
9. Guy in his basement develops a cure for cancer and gives it away for free.
10. David Bowie returns from his home planet after hearing what a shitshow we’ve become.