11. Keeping a clean room. I’ve heard the saying that a room is reflective of how cluttered your mind is. I find this to be true and coming home to a clean room makes me feel like my life just a little more on track.
12. Every time you think or say something negative about someone else, pause. Then say ”maybe that person has something going on in their life that’s stressing them out, and it’s unfair to judge”. Elevating other people is a form of elevating yourself.
Every time you think or say something bad about yourself, even on self-deprecating humor, pause. Then say “that’s not really true, I’m a great person and I’m too critical of myself sometimes”. Elevating yourself helps build confidence, but more importantly, it helps mentally reduce your insecurities.
People are afraid of things they don’t know and frustrated by things they don’t fully understand; so work to understand your problems better and you’ll know yourself better.
“What if I think I’m a loser?”. Well, let’s look at that. You are you, you have x major problems in your life, and y hinderances. With all that weight you’re carrying, how can you call yourself a loser? You’re doing the best you can with what you have, but you’re carrying a lot of weight.
So what can you do to reduce some of it? Take your minor hindrances, list them out. Break them down into 5 portions, and circle the worst portion of each problem.
Tonight, take an hour to make progress on those portions, even if that progress is just taking the time to think about them. What are they, what caused them? What do you have now, and what do you need to resolve them? Why?
The majority of every problem you’ll face in life can begin to be understood by asking “what do I have, what do I need, and why?”. Then followed up “how do I best achieve my goal?”. But you’ll never know how to go about achieving your goals if you don’t account for what you have, what you need, and why you need it.
Once you start removing that weight, the world becomes a lighter place. Not every weight is easily removed, and often you’ll realize you need to make sacrifices.
Just a tip: the most real sacrifice you’ll need to make is the weight that others put on you. If you can understand why and follow through, then everything else is a walk in the park.
13. Personally exercise! Look good, feel good. Helped my confidence shoot through the roof. I started at 18 and I’m 26 still going.
14. Honestly, be kind to yourself. We live in an era of showiness and connectivity with the internet and social media. People now compare themselves to people they don’t know on the internet. And everyone is trying to show how much they are leading their best lives. I could go on about how cancerous this can be but I’ll stick to the point. This new age of connectivity brings a lot of information and possibility to one’s fingertips but that can be overwhelming. It allows us to see what could be and sometimes that makes us upset that we are not. And sometimes we set expectations for ourselves that we either can’t or don’t meet up with. This type of cycle can create a negative feedback loop where people get hard on themselves for failing or not meeting their goals, which makes them depressed and unmotivated, which causes them to fail again because they have even less drive and motivation, and then rinse and repeat.
We need to treat ourselves better. If you see a friend or family down on their luck or failing at something, would you offer them encouragement or criticize and mock them and make them feel worse? If people treated themselves like their best of friends, they’d be a lot better off for it.
15. Two things to consider in this question:
The eyeball test. Everyone makes decisions upon what they see at surface value. This is why being in shape, keeping up hygiene, and keeping clean in general is an important step. “Dress for success”
Practice. Nothing is worse than freezing up in a moment where you need to be calm the most. Whether it’d be to your self in the mirror, to your friends, family, or fellow students/coworkers, practice takes time and discipline.
16. Try new things. You’ll build confidence as you gain skills or as your interests grow. It seems counter-intuitive because you have to take a risk with new things but each step of progress will make a difference in your outlook.
17. Go to the movies alone. Pick a film you want to see and get a ticket. Get popcorn if you want and sit and enjoy the movie. Another time goes out to eat alone at a restaurant that you are interested in. Do things like this regularly. It helps you be comfortable with making decisions and taking charge and it helps you be comfortable in your own skin regardless of who is around and who is looking.
This forces you to make hard decisions (the movie, the restaurant, etc.) and stick with them. It forces you to be comfortable in public alone where you don’t have friends to take the focus of others around you. You are there alone and everyone sees you and if they don’t like it they can suck a nut.
18. Cut out websites that you use frequently out of sheer boredom, but don’t actually make you happy. This applies to 80% of people on Twitter and 90% of people on Facebook.
19. Remember this: Nobody is a mind reader. Literally, nobody on the planet knows what’s going on in your head or your heart. If you’re meeting someone for the first time, the only thing they know about you is what they SEE. And you get to control that.
One of the easiest ways to build confidence is to groom yourself and dress well. Learn to shave, learn to use makeup, get a haircut that looks good and learn to keep it looking good. Find some clothes that fit in colors that suit you. Watch some youtube videos on posture and make sure you stand up straight, shoulders square, feet apart.
If someone meets you for the first time and you look like an absolute boss, they have no alternative but to assume you’re an absolute boss and will treat you like an absolute boss.
20. Volunteering. I honestly can’t recommend volunteering enough! If anyone is able to and has the spare time, do it! It gets you out of the house, you meet a whole range of new people, you get to be involved in the community and make a difference and you can learn new skills. Volunteering has helped me a lot! I’ve gone from being basically terrified to go because I was so anxious at new challenges to become a manager. Now I’ve moved country and I’m volunteering again. It doesn’t matter if you’re just doing a little bit because the little bit of help all add up.
21. For me personally playing and learning an instrument works perfectly. You learn something and if you are good at something you can record it to let others hear. It’s a great booster for me at least.
22. Stop caring when you fail, expect to fail and do it anyways, you will succeed sometimes and then get a confidence boost.
23. Join a club for something you already know/like. Being surrounded by like-minded people makes opening up so much easier. Once you get comfortable host/plan something for the club or take a roll in the club.
24. Do something you don’t normally do. Change the oil in the car, research and attempt to fix the washing machine problem, watch a video and paint a room or piece of furniture. The more you do something on your own the more confidence you start to have in yourself.
25. Forgiveness. Forgive yourself for all the sh*t that you did. Write down all the stuff that you have done well. Stop focusing on the results but focus on the process. Be kind to yourself. Once you start believing that you are not an idiot your self-confidence will soar.