We asked our regular contributors through e-mail What are you supposed to do when having happy birthday sung to you? We got many interesting responses. Here are some of them. We have just copied and pasted their responses, not editing them in any way.
1. I look at everyone and imagine myself as a benevolent lord being serenaded by his underlings lol it helps with the awkwardness.
2. Sing back under your breath and make eye contact with only one person.
3. Sit there and take it like the g*ddamn birthday boi you are.
4. Stare at the cake.
5. Wait for the song to end and then exhale forcefully through your mouth.
I’ve been told this is much less weird when there are lit candles in front of you.
6. Closed mouth smile and wide eyes scanning the room.
7. Find the one person not singing and maintain eye contact with them so they feel awkward and start singing along too.
8. If you’re in this position in the first place, you’ve already failed.
This problem can only be solved with better planning and strategy:
Don’t have any friends
Alienate your family
Be totally alone
Work smarter, not harder.
9. Pretend you’re happy, like… like it’s your birthday or something stupid like that.
10. Just take your pants off. It’ll stop quickly.