11. According to a lot of teachers and professors, words in a paper.
I hated that so much in high school and college where I would have to add a bunch of extra bullsh*t to a paper to meet the minimum amount of words.
12. A few years back, my mom ordered an Amazon Alexa from an eBay. Rather than ordering it from Amazon like anyone else would’ve, she decided to be stubborn and order again when 2 weeks passed and no delivery. 2 weeks became a month, and at this point, my mother had ordered about a dozen of these Alexas in jooes of one showing up finally. This was in early March 2016. She eventually forgot about it. Then August 2017 happened.
I walk downstairs in the morning to see her complaining about getting 17 knocks off Chinese Alexas that talk in a very unsettling voice. She tries to return them but has no success there, so finally giving into defeat, she gives them to me since no one else would want them.
They really can’t do much on their own, but once I discovered that they will repeat any phrase you tell them to, I would put them all within close vicinity, and this is where the fun began. I would say “Alexa, say Alexa”, and then put them on full volume. After about 30 seconds the only audible noise within my household was a domino effect of knockoff Alexas reciting the command which triggered their surrounding comrades.
I can also Bluetooth connect them to all play songs from my phone. They are not consistent with their timing so the songs come out as the un godforsaken sounds of Satan being but forked dry in a wind tunnel. I love my dysfunctional Alexas. All 17 of them.
13. Qualified votes in an election. Quality is 100% irrelevant.
Unless your school does weighted, you only need “A”s to get a good one. Everyone in my graduating class with 4.0s took 4 years of Home Ec and Gym class to blow off their time in school.
15. Funeral Kazoos.
16. Happiness. I’d rather have more people happy than fewer people with more happiness.
17. When you eat rice. One good rice grain won’t satisfy hunger but a cup of mediocre rice will.
19. Edible food. For some people at least.
20. Hydrogen, when creating a new universe. Honestly, you need so much Hydrogen.
If you have enough, the quality emerges from quantity anyway.
21. Puppies, a good puppy is great, but being covered in a swarm of them is heavenly.
22. Breakfast at a restaurant. The actual quality of breakfast food plateaus pretty early. As long as they cook your eggs as requested and don’t undercook the hashbrowns, I don’t really care that much how carefully the meal was prepared.
What I will not accept, however, is ordering biscuits and gravy, a dish that is specifically supposed to be about excess, and still being hungry when I’m finished.
23. Soviet Military.
25. When trying to break the YouTube algorithm.