We asked our regular contributors through e-mail Have you ever listened to a person talk for less than a minute and know you weren’t going to get along with that person? What did they say? We got many interesting responses. Here are some of them. We have just copied and pasted their responses, not editing them in any way.

1. New guy at work, first coffee break he started complaining about his ex who had full custody of the kids for some unknowable reason, and also how he’d like to slash her throat with a rusty knife. Nice to meet you too, don’t think I’ll be taking breaks with you.

– Barbeque

2. New guy started at my job, and we were outside smoking on the first break. Keep in mind I have never met nor spoken to this dude in my life. He walks up, lights up his cigarette, and says “you know, I think my severe arachnophobia has transformed into Arachnophilia. I’ve been watching a lot of spider hentai while masturbating.”

Then he then began to describe his new waifu pillow he bought. Her name and his plans to marry her.

I was speechless…

– MarcusCorwell

3. New guy at work. Suuuper fake by being overly excited and super overly comfortable with everyone in the first minute. He’s all “mami” this and “papi” that to everyone and very overly touchy (we were almost all Hispanics there and everyone was uncomfortable). First phone call of the day, he hangs up cursing and taking it super personally that someone hung up on him (daily occurrence in customer service). After about 6 months, I put in my 2 weeks’ notice solely because I couldn’t work next to or with him anymore (he would also get overly gossipy and personal). My boss rejected my notice and transferred him. He couldn’t stand the guy either. No one could.

– WanderingProdigy

4. I was listening to the NEXIVM podcast and the clip of the founder saying he has a 225 IQ. If I walked into a room and heard someone say that I’d walk right back out.

– FabBandicot

5. “There are different levels to being a psychic, I’m on the purple level so I can talk to the dead”,  said a new employee at my previous job.

Nope.

– Lumitsaee

6. The quiet boy at school sat next to me and told me how hard he felt when he took a sh*t and how many times he ejaculated that way. I never sat next to him again.

– Significantlow83

7. I was in a job interview once and the manager cut me off mid-sentence to jump to a weird conclusion

Him: What do you think the performance of this algorithm would be?

Me: Oh, it’ll be ‘n’ times–

Him: Oh, you think it’s going to be ‘n’? You think it’ll be ‘n’??!! That’s ridiculous, there’s no way it would just be ‘n’!

Me: Uhhhh, you gotta let me finish speaking

He then cut me off mid-sentence twice more during our conversation. We… didn’t get along. The dude was a total tool.

– AreenEnlad

8. They talk negatively about someone else in a very judgy way. There was this mom in my daughter’s school who seemed to “know” everyone, she talked to me and she spoke so badly about these people. Then moments later I saw her interacting in a “friendly” way, with those she was judging. My eyes rolled so much I could see my brain telling me not to get involved with her. And I was right because by the time the school year ends, her “friends” hated her and they were talking behind her back too.

– eveningsand123

9. I met one of my new colleagues at a barbecue that was being hosted by our work. I (a man) drove with another coworker (a woman and a friend of mine), so we arrived together.

When I was alone for a moment this guy, whom I’d never spoken to before, comes up next to me and says “yo dude…you hittin’ that?” gestures to my friend I said “no, and she also has a boyfriend”

He very exaggeratedly says “DAMN

Yada yada he got fired 2 years later for sexually harassing an intern.

– Uptwonshenings

10. Literally last night, was at a local pool comp and went to introduce myself to my second-round opponent. We shake hands and his first words to me are “weak handshake bro” followed by “I hope you like banter mate” and then proceeded to talk sh*t about every aspect of my game. The worst part was he was actually good at the pool so it just seems like he was generally bad. Some of his other opponents got it a lot worse than I did as well.

The highlight of the night was when the comp host basically yelled in his face “everyone in this room hates you” which received a round of applause. He didn’t seem to understand why that was.

“Just banter bro” ?

– INYonoo

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Last Update: February 4, 2023