11-15 Interesting Stories

Christian School Cult

11. I spent two years as a child in a Christian school in Guatemala that turned out to be a cult. They would lock us up for weeks in tiny cages isolated out in the jungle because we were suspected of having bad “thoughts.”

12. Almost 20 years ago, my father sold his photo camera to buy some booze. He was an alcoholic and an abusive. Inside the camera bag, there was a piece of paper with a handmade aperture and shutter speed chart. I had drawn little circles in that paper when I was a child.

Fast forward 15 years. There’s a pawn shop near the place where I work, and from time to time I go there to see what hidden gems I can find. One day there was a camera that looked quite similar to the one my father sold. I bought it on a whim, without even checking if it worked properly. Just because it looked like the one he undersold. Once at home, I took a closer look, cleaned it properly and searched the bag.

Yes, you know where this is going. There it was the paper with the chart and my little circles in blue biro. I sat on the sofa for a moment just to let that WTF moment sink in. That camera is now in a place of honor among my other cameras.

13. My house was broken into while I was asleep on the couch in the living room. I captured my would-be burglar with a battleaxe replica that my roommate had on the wall. I made him call 911 on his own phone since I couldn’t hold on to him and the axe and a phone at the same time (he tried to get away a few times). A very surprised 911 dispatcher sent the police who eventually got there, arrested my prisoner, and thanked me for not chopping him up.

14. In 4th grade, we’re playing kickball inside for PE because it’s rainy. We’re in a pretty standard basketball gym with hoops at each end and bathroom/locker rooms in the far end. The kind without doors just the long out and back hallway for privacy. Now for the unbelievable part(s).

During our game on my first kick, I looked at a friend and said: “I’m aiming for the hoop.” The ball rolls up, I run up, wind up, and unload the most perfect kick I’ve ever kicked. The ball sails high and straight and true. It hits the backboard, does a little dance around the rim and plops right on through. I’m so stunned at the spectacle that I’m just standing on first watching it happen. (I’m safe). Second kick. I say. “I’m doing it again.” I do. Everyone is stunned by this one. I’m still a bit stunned it worked. Made it second this time.

Now third kick (my final chance at the plate). Kicking it at the basket is cool, but inside the park homers are cool too. I’m not superfast so I needed to employ trickery. The outfield crew consisted of all dudes, so I aim for the girl’s locker room. The kick sails long and just a bit left of the locker room door. But it lands with a bit of spin and bounces perfectly into the girl’s locker room and down the little out and back hallway. No one is in the locker room, but all of the 4th-grade boys are afraid of getting yelled at. So none of them try to retrieve the ball, meanwhile, I’m closing on the home plate looking to break up our tied game. (I scored, we won).

For any former 4th graders from Hudson PEP in Longview Texas that feel like corroborating my story, this happened in like 1993-1994.

15. I was chilling with my friend during high school. We decided to spend the night at his place. The catch is we wanted weed. So I call my dude and we do the drive by cigarette drop. We throw him a pack with $40 and he tosses a quarter. Well as this goes down a lady is walking her dog and must have called it in.

Later on, me and my dude are chilling, hotboxing my car when a light shines up. Sheriff’s department right there. I freak out and say no way is he coming up on us. We’ve been smoking loud with the windows up, easy conviction. So I get out smooth and ask the sheriff what’s up. He gives me some excuse about theft in the neighborhood and how we match the description. I laugh and say yeah I understand, my car was a piece of sh*t and that makes sense. Here’s where it gets weird.
The officer jokes I could be an eccentric person like Howard Hughes. The weird thing is I literally just watched a documentary on Howard Hughes on the History Channel, back when it actually cared about history. Not only that, one of my favorite movies is The Aviator, which is about him.

So I’m high, but able to not only keep up this conversation with this officer but supply legit knowledge into this weird interaction. In the end, his backup arrives and he waves them off, says ‘have a good night’ and I’m sh*tting my pants.

16-20 Interesting Stories

Zoo at night

16. When I was a kid we live about a mile from a huge world famous zoo. Being so close I eventually figured out a way to get in for free. This was long ago when there were no security cameras, so I started going in after it was closed.

I was doing it so often I figured out the guard’s schedule and knew when it was safe to be there and not get caught. Me being a kid I took my bike in there in case I needed a fast getaway. Me being a very bad kid I stole beers from my brothers hiding place to stick in a backpack for private picnics in the zoo.

17. I was out clubbing with friends one night, and as we were leaving the first bar we walked down an alleyway. I all of a sudden stopped and walked back to where there was a little old Italian man because I could smell fresh chilies. In the back tray of his ute, there were mounds of these fresh chilies.

I told him they were beautiful chilies, asked if he grew them himself etc., while my friends begged me to keep walking. He asked if I wanted some. I love chili so I said yes, expecting he’d give me a couple. He grabs this plastic bag and fills it with about 50 chilies.

I ask him how much money he wants for them but he refuses, and with a hug sends me on my way. I only had a small purse on me, so I just carried the bag with me as we went about our night. We ended up going into 2 nightclubs. The bouncers at both asked to check in my bag, then laughed when I just said to them – it’s a long story. They let me keep them, so I just held them as I danced and drank the night away.

18. My life is akin to a bad pun at times. I was carrying my skis, slipped on some ice, and fell down. I asked a passing girl if she could lend me a hand with the skis while I got up. She then told me she had no arms, and proceeded to wave her empty coat sleeves around as proof. I just kind of fumbled to get up whilst apologizing profusely. She giggled and walked away.

19. I’ve had numerous wild creatures come up to me at random times, with absolutely zero fear. In college, I was walking through the woods that stretched between my dorm and the football field (where I parked my car). There was this clearing that overlooked the field, and the track team was practicing. My roommate was a vaulter, so I stopped to watch for a little bit and leaned up against a tree. I had an apple in my purse, and eventually, I felt this little nudge; a fawn had come up and was nosing my bag. I stood stock still and just let it sniff me, and saw Momma deer was a few feet away. Very slowly, I reached into my bag, and baby bounded away. I took the apple and set it on the ground, and walked away really slowly. Later that afternoon, I was cutting through the woods again, and the apple was still there, but with bites out of it.

I’ve also been hiking and had squirrels and bunnies come up to me with no issue. Birds will land near me and not fly away. It’s pretty awesome, but because it will only happen when I’m alone, I don’t tell anyone. It’s like my own little secret; that I may actually be Snow White.

20. My dad was married 2 times before my mom. When he was with his second wife, he would travel a lot for work. One night he came home to find his wife in bed with another man. Actually walked in on them. He left the room and came back with a gun. Shot the man dead, and wounded his wife. He turned himself in immediately and was sent to prison. He was sentenced to 10 years in a maximum security prison. In the last year he was in prison (which was the 4th year, he got out for good behavior, and since the judge ruled it a crime of passion), he met the prison minister. The prison minister was my mom. My dad is a murderer, my mom was the minister. I am the product of a conjugal visit.

Categorized in:

AskReaders, Fact List,

Last Update: September 23, 2016

Tagged in: