We asked our regular contributors through e-mail What harmful things are being taught to children? We got many interesting responses. Here are some of them. We have just copied and pasted their responses, not editing them in any way.
1. Not owning up to their mistakes or blaming them on others.
2. What to think instead of how to think.
3. Being wrong is bad. That’s why many people don’t change their mind when they were given trustable sources, they don’t want to be wrong.
4. How to internalize stress and implode as teens and adults.
5. In a nasty divorce, the parents may only talk about each other’s bad qualities, and the kid(s) may have an issue/issues with their parents.
6. You do not have to play with everyone. There is a total lack of social accountability. If Laura is always cheating at the tag it’s okay to not let her play. If Little Billy throws sand in the sandbox Little Timmy does not have to play with him. Laura and Billy need to learn how to play appropriately.
7. That they shouldn’t question an adult.
8. Children do learn about sex at a young age, it just isn’t usually in a productive way. I know I did.
My own experience: questions like this are why I believe in being infinitely clear with my kids….” you are going to hear total crap from other kids. If you hear something you don’t understand, come talk to me. You can ask me anything and expect a decent answer.” And I would give examples of the total crap I had heard as a kid, most of which would result in pregnancy.
Son, age 6. Daughter, age 7. Riding home from school: daughter says “Tiffany said she had sex with my brother.” Which left me a grand total of 3 minutes to gather my wits before we got home.
OK, do you guys know what sex is? Blank looks. Sex is when you take off all of your clothes and rub privates together. You can make babies that way. Looks of shock and disgust. Do you think your brother had sex with Tiffany? Nooo! I think she was using a really bad way of trying to say she likes him, and maybe she watches the wrong TV shows where if people like each other they always have sex.
Were my kids really ready for a sex talk? No, not really. They didn’t care. Did we really need to have one about then? Yep. My job as a parent is to be there to put things that come up in context for them, not run around after them deciding what and when they need to know things.
9. Happened to my son in middle school, a kid punched my son. My son then fought back and pinned the kid against the wall ( he has long arms) and punched him a few times. The school called me and my wife and told us our son was suspended. We went to the school and they said even though multiple witnesses, as well as the kid, said he threw the first punch that the school had a zero-tolerance policy so our son would be suspended. We asked what the school believed our son should have done and they said he should just walk away. We told them that he would not be receiving any punishment at home.
10. No is a ‘bad’ word. It’s a strong word but not a bad one.